OLD SOUL INK

What's been brewing

2009-06-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

Hello, my friends! It's been ages and ages, hasn't it? Well, at last I can share my news with you. I'm blogging here. And I'm working here. Where "working" equals "being your own boss," anyway. Oh yes. I've got me a business partner and we've got us a shop. How excitement!, as a friend of mine would say. Come along for the ride! It's a good one.

xo,
Emma

The Final OSI Interview: Peter Green

2009-05-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

Peter Green's Wikipedia page says, in part: Peter Green is a PR person for several Australasian acts, most notably Skyhooks, Bic Runga, Split Enz and their alumni, including Crowded House, The Finn Brothers, Neil Finn, Tim Finn, etc. His office maintains the "Frenz of The Enz", encompassing all the Enz alumni, which has also been known as the Crowded House club, but which reverted to its original name following the break-up of the latter. He is held in very high regard by the fans, who greatly appreciate the personal touch he brings his work, and his remarkable commitment, not only to the musicians, but also to the Frenz, maintaining a consistent relationship with them, whether there is artist activity or not. The Frenz of the Enz are known for their long-standing loyalty and commitment to the bands and artists under the Frenz umbrella, and it could be argued that it is largely as a result of Peter Green's work, ensuring that the fans always feel connected to what is going on.

All of which fits nicely with my theory that Mr. Green may just be among the top 5 nicest men in the world (that is a guess; I don't know all the men in the world, so the top five seemed fairly reasonable). Over the last few years I've emailed him a few times with questions--Do I need to be in the fan club to enter the drawing for the signed CD? That sort of thing. And each time, he has responded to my banal correspondence a) quickly, and b) with a level of enthusiastic kindness that is not only rare in general, but altogether unheard of in PR. [Please don't send me hate mail, PR people. I worked in PR. I know what I'm talking about.] In addition to overseeing PR for all of the abovenamed acts and running the Frenz of the Enz site, Peter has a blog and publishes the occasional road diary. He's also quite witty. In a recent round of emails, he mentioned he was going to be boarding a plane in short order. And then he sent an immediate follow-up email with the subject line "what we are wearing on board to avoid swine flu XXXPG". There was no body text, just an attached image of someone in a yellow Hazmat suit.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?

On the road (touring) when you do those little things (buying a toaster for the tour bus) or just making someone's day more bearable when they are thousands of miles away from home. PR duties, when you are at your favourite coffee haunt (free plug to the Verandah View at Kalorama) and the person at the table picks up the newspaper and your band is on the front cover and you know it was something you did right the day before. Books--When you start working on the next book and suddenly the words flow, and they feel spot on and you get so vibed you just churn them out and you find it hard to stop. Concerts--recently being part of the Sound Relief show in Melbourne--where two of our acts played to 83,000 people and raised $5 million dollars for the bushfire relief benefit--that feels extra special--being a small cog in a large wheel that seemed to roll so well that day, and punters left feeling they witnessed a very special gig.

2. Which bits matter least?

When I get snappy, it's rare but the odd deadline seems to rush closer and suddenly someone will call wanting to have a chat. Probably because I prefer the chat to the deadline and know I can't do both. Rushing the 'Famous for 16 Minutes' Diary (that extra minute Warhol gave me years ago never seems enough) and sending it off to Deb in America to add to my net ramblings and feeling like I should have made more effort. When Neil Finn asks me someone's name who is heading towards us at an after show or media event and I know the face too but for the life of me can't remember their name. So I try discreetly to find out before their smiling face arrives. It's all small stuff so it doesn't really matter.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?

When friends let us down, even now I pretend it doesn't matter as much as it really does. When I mess up around one of our bands in some small way, and they just shrug it off but it seems to make it even worse. I hate making mistakes around work, but I deal with it now instead of just guilting. Deadlines, mostly around our Rocket Pocket Books--it always seems to take a lot longer to get them finished and printed and delivered. I am calmer at this. After months of work waiting on the new book TRIP to be delivered, I got myself way too excited on the arrival date--a truck arrives with numerous boxes of stock and...we open them--and it's NOT my book. I was cool--started laughing hysterically, a few years back I don't know if hysterical laughter would have been what I would have done.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?

Like Kayte Terry I was thinking public image, but after volunteering to be the front half of a horse suit on the Finn Brothers tour I'd say my public image is well and truly shot to pieces. Listening more, talking less is probably the one.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?

Australia with all its golden beaches...so the first smell of the surf after months away from the beach. Certain lines from movie or tv shows like 007 (though Austin Powers has destroyed many of the Bond movies forever...very hard to take them seriously)...any of Joss's great one-liners from 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and when I come home from a month away on the road and I get cuddled by my boyfriend for the first time, that nice hair smell is good (yikes)!

***
Thanks so much, Peter!

And with that, the Old Soul Ink interview series comes to an end, as does the blog. Once I'm situated at the other site (details TBA), I'll post about it here, and then that will be it for new content. (Archives will remain.) Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who read, commented, participated in the interviews, linked. I've met some incredible people, have gotten to know others still better, and I look forward to continuing that in the near future.

The OSI Interview: Justin Flitter

2009-05-02T00:00:00.000-07:00

Justin Flitter is a Creative Customer Services Professional with a seemingly unquenchable thirst and enthusiasm for delivering and promoting excellent customer service. Given that the lack of customer service is one of my biggest pet peeves, I was very interested in Justin's championing of the cause. Nine years ago he founded, along with a board of trustees, the NRG Charitable Trust Business Incubator. Located in Wellington, New Zealand, the Incubator housed and supported young entrepreneurs setting up their own businesses. More recently, he has served as Customer Service Manager at Fishpond.co.nz and Fishpond.com.au -- which won ‘Exporter of the Year’ and was ranked the 4th fastest growing company in New Zealand. Currently he works for Zendesk.com as a Customer Advocate, Business Developer and Cheerleader! His personal site promotes customer service thought leadership, encouraging proactive management and best practice.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?

Customer Service: Its the little things that mean the most. Reading or listening to an email to pick out the calls for help, hesitation or feedback that could benefit from a phone call really works.

The other is follow up, if I have replied to a customer with a question that email remains 'pending'. If I have not heard back after 2 or 3 days ill often email again or call the customer to ensure that request is completed.

Being Nosy: With blogging and Tweeting, it's listening that pays the dividends. It could be a comment from someone on your post, or a Twitter discussion that creates a "lightbulb" moment leading to a new relationship, business opportunity or blogpost.

A great example is my recent connection with Laurie Brown, a customer service expert in the United States. Laurie posted a customer-service related Tweet which captured my attention,so I visited her website. Our shared passion for customer service was obvious, so when I had an idea for a new White Paper I approached Laurie to co-author it with me. Recently we published "The Essential Customer Service WhitePaper for 2009" which is available free from http://justinflitter.com.

2. Which bits matter least?
Definitely timekeeping and appearance. Firstly I work from home, with a pool and the neighbor's cat' which is partly bliss and partly boring. Given that I physically work on my own' there's little reason to dress up, do my hair or shave every day. I can walk around in shorts and jandals [Note: that's "flip-flops" to you crazy Americans.]. I bought a suit a while back for job interviews, have only worn it once.
Timekeeping is something I'm naturally good at, but having a largely unstructured day means that minutiae of being on time is not one of mine.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?

Over the last year my vision has broadened in that I'm focusing on relationships on a global level rather than a local, community/city level. Where before I focused on building local relationships for professional development, now I'm looking globally so local contacts have become less significant. Local networks are still important (especially when you work from home), but there are far more people and opportunities available when you're not fussed where they live.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?

Patience is not my greatest virtue. Yet working at home requires a certain amount of patience and discipline. Working internationally often means I don't get an answer back as fast as I'd like so you have to learn to put things down for a bit. Some of my customer service work is repetitive. It would be easy to take shortcuts to get through the work. But as I've said, it's the small things that matter the most, personal comments and suggestions or a little time spent makes a huge difference. Post-It notes on the computer say "How can you make this better?" and "If it is to be, it is up to me".

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?

I have been reading First, Break All the Rules by Marcus Buckingham. In it he talks about talents. As managers we recruit for talent but often talents are misinterpreted as skills or as if talent is hard to find. Marcus dispels the myth by saying that "Talents are simply recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior" so "Talents are actually rather commonplace". Perhaps customer service in some companies would improve if staff were hired based on talents like compassion, listening and thoughts of "the customer, before me". This idea has changed the way I write about customer service recruitment, staff coaching and training.

***
Thank you, Justin!

The OSI Interview: Jonathan Mead

2009-05-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

Jonathan Mead is a prolific writer on the topic of self development and living authentically. He writes about "the less boring side" of life at his blog, Illuminated Mind, and is also a regular contributor on the popular blog, Zen Habits.

Since a young age, Jonathan lost his tolerance for doing things that he doesn't care about. He's on a mission to escape from cubicle hell, and reclaim his dreams. His purpose is to help other people liberate themselves from fluorescent lighting and start living deliberately. He recently published an ebook on this topic called Reclaim Your Dreams - An Uncommon Guide to Living on Your Own Terms.

Jonathan is also a drummer, idea pusher, polymath, mad scientist, husband and essential renegade. He's currently researching how to get paid to exist.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?

Every time I sit down to write I'm either subconsciously or consciously thinking these two questions "Do I really care about this?" and "Will other people care about this?"

My aim is always to bring clarity and awareness to topics that are important. I know that I can write about certain things that are controversial or popular, that will gain a lot of attention. But if I'm not being authentic, it will be hollow. People can see through that and the way you connect is by real.

2. Which bits matter least?

I would have to say following the rules. There are a lot of "unspoken rules" in the blogging and self-development world, that don't make sense to me. For example, a lot of people will say to post 3-5 times a week to create a successful blog. I do exactly the opposite, because I only write when I have something worth saying. Some of the biggest gains I've had in readership is when I only posted twice a month.

So I would say that's the first one. The second would have to be obsessing about everything being perfect. When you get caught up in "the cult of productivity" you tend to not be satisfied unless everything is done, completely organized and in order. But the truth is, life is a giant, beautiful mess. There are no square boxes and straight lines in nature. So instead of resisting, I try to embrace the mess. I try to give up trying to control everything.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?

Trying to live up to an image of what I thought I should be, but was not. We all tend to have this idea in our heads about what we think we should be, what kind of self we should become in order to really accept ourselves.

My quest to be authentic has led me to develop a sort of filter of when I'm really being true to myself, as opposed to when I'm chasing something just because it's a "good idea."

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?

The little things in life. It's amazing when you really just slow down and allow space to come into your life, how beautiful things become. Something as simple as leaves blowing in the wind across the pavement, can be so beautiful. Just the feeling of being can be something amazing, if you simply slow down.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?

I've been seriously obsessed with Bruce Lee lately. One of my favorite quotes from him is "If you always place limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, they will seep into your work and your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus; and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them."

Every time I see myself pushing up against beliefs that don't serve me or imaginary walls around what I can and can't do, I ask myself "Am I limiting myself? Is this feeling valid, or is it simply an arbitrary limit I've unnecessarily placed on myself?"

It's amazing how often the answer turns out to be the latter.

***
Thank you, Jonathan!

The OSI Interview: Pete McGregor

2009-04-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Pete McGregor is one of those people who make you wonder what the hell you've been doing with your life. He writes, edits, takes photos, travels, keeps two blogs, does a lot of complicated-sounding outdoorsy things, and goes out of his way to be kind. He is also maddeningly logical, and I mean that in the best way possible. Over the last few years I've sort of harassed him into being my friend, and I'm better for it (and he is probably more tired for it.). Check out his blogs. Read his stuff. You'll be better for it. Trust me.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?

What's my work? To what degree could what I do be considered work? I write, I edit, I photograph and a lot more, but, of those things, the editing contributes most to my financial survival—or, to be more accurate—to the postponement of my financial ruin. So let's accept that what constitutes my work is nebulous, ignore the minutiae of definitions of work, and simply say for the purposes of this question, much of my work is copy editing. This necessarily concerns details: punctuation, grammar, spelling and the like. Whether these details are minutiae could be argued—often they're so critical for meaning they shouldn't be considered minutiae (with its connotations of trivia—trivia being another matter altogether)—but in at least one sense they're small: therefore, minutiae. It's important to get these right, particularly when editing scientific or other academic manuscripts (the bulk of my editing): as anyone who's had to check APA style will tell you, academic pettifoggery reaches its apogee in the formatting of reference lists for science journals. On the other hand, many aspects of punctuation and grammar are debatable, so in more forgiving contexts what's important is less to get the minutiae right than to ensure that if you're going to get them wrong, at least to get them wrong consistently, thereby giving the impression that the error was deliberate.

The reasons these editorial minutiae are important are, first, that they're often essential for clarity or emphasis, and second, that one is paid to get them right. If neither reason applies, they don't matter and correcting them is a waste of time one could spend on important things like writing, photographing or living.

2. Which bits matter least?

Briefly staying with copy editing: if a punctuation mark makes no difference to the meaning or clarity of the writing, it matters only if it's required by a particular convention (a journal's style or a client's stipulation, for example).

More generally, minutiae that lack context (trivia, perhaps?) seem largely pointless and sometimes irritating. For example, knowing that C3PO was the first character to speak in the Star Wars films or that Captain Jean-Luc Picard's fish was called Livingston has little other than mostly mindless entertainment value for me, but if these were answers to questions at the Celtic's quiz night they might matter a great deal, particularly if knowing them facilitated the winning of a bar tab. To use a more powerful but fictitious example from Slumdog Millionaire, Jamal's knowing what Lord Rama holds in his right hand mattered a great deal. These examples (and other reasons, about which I intend writing) encourage me to be wary of dismissing knowledge of any kind as “useless”. On the other hand, minutiae that confuse rather than accentuate or enlighten are worse than useless (I'd give an example, but can't right now think of one).

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?

I used to work for one of New Zealand's large science research organisations. Much of my work there entailed administrative tasks justified on grounds like the need for senior managers to maintain awareness of the organisation's efficiency, effectiveness and morale; however, these tasks impeded my ability to do my primary job: science research. Perhaps these tasks were necessary—without them the organisation might have gradually deteriorated and my research would then have been impeded by different organisational failures—but at the time it seemed my effectiveness was curtailed by the need to attend to minutiae ostensibly intended to improve my effectiveness.

However, those minutiae did not fall by the wayside. I abandoned them deliberately by choosing to live a different life: one not involving working for an organisation.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?

None I can think of. Even the copy editing seemed to come naturally. Typos, grammatical errors and infidelities, and errors of punctuation seem to leap off the page. I make mistakes but I trust they're rare (they're more common in my own writing than in work I've edited, but that's to be expected).

5. Just for kicks — what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, a movie, etc.)?

Whoah, that's a big question. Where do I start? The more I notice details, the more I realise they so often say so much about the larger world: paradoxically, big ideas or pictures are often best revealed through detail. This is especially true of writing and photography. Examples and analogies are ways we understand: examples are details of larger ideas; analogies often so. By writing about or showing in a photo the detail of water streaming over a rock, or of an old woman's weathered hands, one creates a sense of something larger: in these cases, the river or the woman's life. Chains on an elephant's legs suggest something about that elephant's life beyond the chains and the legs. Understanding the power of details encourages me to pay more attention to details—what's happening in the background of a movie; what a writer mentions, ostensibly for no particular reason; or a quotation that seems to encapsulate part of life (most recently, Nicolas Bouvier's statement in The Way of the World: “Travelling outgrows its motives. It soon proves sufficient in itself. You think you are making a trip, but soon it is making you—or unmaking you”).

But what are minutiae? Detail at one scale constitutes the big picture at another: the bristles on a robber fly are details of the fly, the fly is a detail of a summer afternoon, the summer afternoon is a detail of seasonal life in the Pohangina valley. Perhaps the world is only minutiae—or do minutiae not exist?

***
Thank you, Pete!

The OSI Interview: Sara Pemberton

2009-04-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

Sara Pemberton is the owner of On Simplicity, a blog focused on having less and enjoying more. Her pieces have been featured on Get Rich Slowly, Dumb Little Man, and Simple Mom. In her non-blogging life, Sara is a library programming director, heading up services for adults and children (and on occasion, pets). In between writing and finding new ways for kids to make fantastic messes, Sara enjoys fluffy slippers and a good gin and tonic [and thus is obviously awesome.--ED.].

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
With the micro-audiences that blogging caters to, it all feels a bit like minutiae at times, doesn't it? Of course, that's also the beauty of it. Even the tiniest idea or event can become an essay that reaches thousands of readers. Small comments also matter deeply to me. Having someone contribute an idea, an opinion, or a word of thanks changes the dynamic of a blog dramatically.

Of course, when I'm working with kids, that dynamic is completely flipped. In writing, the end result is what matters, regardless of how much I enjoyed creating it. With kids, the end result is how much you enjoy creating a project. That's the whole point: having fun in the process. It helps me keep things in perspective beautifully.

2. Which bits matter least?
Without a doubt, the unwritten "rules" of any job or task. In the end, there are no rules. Trying to follow someone else's guidelines or standards can be maddening. As long as you're doing your best to provide what people need, the details can usually slide.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
Collecting things, having them for posterity, used to seem extremely important. From music to books to vintage Barbies, I wanted it all. Now, I try to get rid of as much as possible while still keeping what I really appreciate. The ethic of "the perfect is the enemy of the good" has really changed my outlook. Sure, I could have every single song I've ever heard, stored in alphabetical order on an external drive, or I could focus on the twenty percent of songs I love and not have to sort through a bunch of crap to get to them. The culture of access has helped, too. I don't have to own every rare bootleg cut as long I know where to access them.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
People, if people can be called minutiae. I used to expect everyone to wear their hearts on their sleeves. (I know, it seems pretty silly now.) Now I try to make an effort to see what's beneath the surface instead of expecting people to tell me what they need.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
I'm totally obsessed with the back stories of songs and artists. Like in "Let's Get It On," there's a line at the end about being sanctified. That one throwaway line encompasses all of Marvin Gaye's duality, his lifelong struggle with sex and spirituality. I thrive on minutiae like that, the easter eggs of life that add depth and meaning to everyday experiences.

***
Thank you, Sara!

The OSI Interview: Marianne Elliott

2009-04-27T00:07:00.000-07:00

After a decade working as a human rights advocate in New Zealand, Afghanistan, the Gaza Strip and Timor-Leste, Marianne returned to New Zealand in 2008 to write down some of the extraordinary stories she had gathered along the way. Her work experiences range from heading up a provincial office of the United Nations Assistance Mission to Afghanistan, providing human rights advice to the Government of Timor-Leste and working as international legal and media advisor to the extraordinary Palestinian Centre for Human Rights in Gaza. "Living in the midst of conflict," she says, "My friends in these war-torn countries have taught me how to practice my own brand of personal peace." Today Marianne divides her time between writing, working as a policy advisor and advocate/lobbyist for Oxfam New Zealand (a not-for-profit international development agency dedicated to finding lasting solutions to poverty and injustice) meditation practice, training to be a yoga teacher, learning to surf and post-graduate studies in psychology. Her current writing project is a memoir about her life and work in Afghanistan, and you can read more about her experiences at Zen and the Art of Peacekeeping.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
In human rights work the detail of the law matters. I'd like to think that empathy or ethics would be enough to compel us to act honorably towards our fellow human beings around the world, but governments and multi-nationals are going to care about the law.

In environmental work the detail of the often science matters. It's important to be sure that you actually understand the science if you are going to try to motivate people to make changes to their lifestyle based on that science. I'm not a scientist and it takes effort for me to make sense of climate models and emissions reductions scenarios, but I've had to learn.

2. Which bits matter least?
Ironically, I think the answer is the same as to question 1, i.e. the law and the science. You've got to get them right if you are going to get out of the starters block in your campaign for change, but then you have to understand that they won't get you much further. You need to move on pretty quickly to the forces that will motivate people to change, and at that point you have the choice to play to people's weaknesses (fear, insecurity, anger) or to their strengths (empathy, hope, optimism). Take a guess which I prefer.

In writing I struggle to think of minutiae that doesn't matter - it all matters: spelling, grammar, punctuation, length, tone, pace, rhythm, point of view, vocabulary. If any of those are off then the reader is likely to be distracted by them, and the emotional power of the piece will be lost. I still get them wrong, but I know that it matters when I do.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
That's a tough question. The only minutiae I ever really cared about in my childhood were words and tidiness. Even as a child I liked a tidy room and could spend days in the company of a well-written book. They both remain as important to me as they ever were. My sister tells me that if I ever have children I'll learn to care less about the tidiness. But, as yet, that is an unproven theory.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
With the exception of words and neatness, pretty much all of them. I've had to learn to pay attention to most of the minutiae of life. In my first job as a lawyer I tried to convince my boss that since I had a "big picture" brain he should let me work on the overall strategy for our case and leave him to read through the piles of documents looking for details. He wasn't convinced. Over the years I've learned that minutiae matters, but if I can delegate them to someone else I always will. These days my boyfriend is the most likely candidate. He has, for example, a wonderful capacity to check whether the picture is going to be lined up straight before he bangs in the nail.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
The tiny changes that appear in our vegetable garden each day, a tomato starting to turn red, a new tendril on the cucumber plant, a zucchini flower blossoming. Mary Oliver's poems.

(Photo credit: Susannah Conway.)

***
Thank you, Marianne!

Achtung, baby

2009-04-26T18:56:00.000-07:00

This week begins something new: every day, for seven days, I'll be posting a different OSI interview. It's a fascinating mix of people, in my somewhat less-than-humble opinion. But why the seven in a row? Well, here's the deal. After the seven interviews, this blog is more or less finished. I'm beginning something new (which I'll tell you about here when it is ready!), and there will be a blog involved there. Very exciting stuff, if you ask me, and I can't wait for it to begin.

So! See you tomorrow?

Giveaway winner!

2009-04-23T23:41:00.001-07:00

Congratulations to Megan Alama! She's won herself a copy of Kim McMechan's CD, Little Grey House! Megan, send me your mailing address and I will send out your excellent prize at once!

Happy Friday, lovelies!

Like Erin Brockovich, but with more clothing.

2009-04-23T08:00:00.000-07:00

In case you wondered.

9: number of years I'd been alive when I produced my first magazine; it was called Superkid! and featured completely fictional interviews with celebrities like Ricky Schroder and Christopher Reeve, as well as a fashion feature (in marker) on the return of miniskirts and the gorgeousness of cuffed suede booties

1: number of times I have portrayed a circa-1750s, pregnant good-time girl onstage

1: number of issues of Superkid! that was published, as hand-drawn magazines are a real pain to reproduce

2: number of people in the audience one night when the theater company I started with friends was doing a run of The Acting Lesson--and one of the two people was my mom

1: number of times I have told a massage client that he had 30 seconds to get dressed and get out, and to try the back of the LA WEEKLY for the type of massage he evidently wanted

2: number of fistfights I got into with boys on my tenth birthday

2: number of fistfights I got into with boys on my tenth birthday which I lost

1: number of older brothers named Bob I made up in the third grade

5: number of men named Bob who have been influential in my life (long after the third grade)

3: number of instruments I play/have played

7: number of names I currently answer to (Mexican families are nothing if not inventive with the sheer volume of nicknames they heap on a person; not to mention the whole changing-my-legal-name thingie)

Los Angeles Fire Starter Sessions: an update!

2009-04-22T12:44:00.001-07:00

I am very excited to announce a change to the Los Angeles Fire Starter Sessions with Danielle LaPorte, which I posted about here. Thanks to a succinct Tweet from Jonathan Mead ("Sucks that the firestarter session are girls-only. Will there ever be boys allowed?"), the sessions are now co-ed. Bring on the men!

The OSI Interview (AND GIVEAWAY!): Kim McMechan

2009-04-20T00:02:00.000-07:00

Kim McMechan is a poet, singer-songwriter and freelance writer from Kelowna, BC, Canada. She is the mother of two girls, ages 6 and 3, and her creative work reflects the landscape of her life, which means she writes a lot about the grocery store and being tired. No, really. Check out her fantastic voice and excellent songs at www.myspace.com/kimmcmechan and www.kimmcmechan.com/sblog. And! I have her CD, Little Grey House, to give away to one lucky person who leaves a comment (or Tweets it, or emails it) telling me your all-time favorite song lyric. (Winner will be chosen at random--I'm just nosy, okay?)

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
In my creative work as a songwriter and writer, it's the daily few hours of showing up to get something down that matter most. There's a part of me that is always trying to make everything HUGE and BIG, and when I do this, I lose sight of the small steps and get really disoriented. It's been starting to sink in the past few years that if I show up to write or work on music today, I'll do it tomorrow and the next and the next. But if I spend today procrastinating, it could turn into a lifetime. So I try to stay very shortsighted about my work, and trust that it will add up to the bigger things that I want to achieve.

2. Which bits matter least?
I think the projecting about the future matters least. Maybe I just feel this way because I've spent the past year trying to plot a path, and every day something changed--my vision, my desire, or my opportunities. It drove me crazy! I did this because others were always asking me to describe my goals and my business plan and I doubted my own process. Now that I've done that for awhile and have seen that it's not a very nourishing way for me, I'm reverting to what works. And that is spending a little time planning, and the bulk of the time getting songs and writing done and trusting the momentum of my own creativity.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
I once spent a lot of energy trying to ensure I was being impressive. I've stopped caring about that and now just want to give birth to whatever is in my heart. I'm not so attached to outcome anymore, and Lordy, is it a relief. Also: organization. I wish I'd known earlier about how there's different personality types in regards to organization. I'm the type that has to SEE everything or it doesn't exist. But I used to try to put it all into different folders and binders and boxes. Then I'd forget what I was working on. A few years ago I just said "screw it!" and started taping things to my walls. Now I have 3 bulletin boards above my workspace and about 30 pages of things laid out across my desk. I don't care if someone else would consider it chaos. To me, it is perfect order. When I have my few hours of creative time in a day, I can scan my stuff, and start working on whatever pulls at me. I work best in creative bursts, so this system has been a lifesaver, because it supports those bursts.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
Money has been a big one for me. I like doing the creative part of work, but getting it into the world - promotion, sales, writing press releases - has always been a little more draining for me. I'm learning to love that part and honor it as necessary. That's still a work in progress. Also, I'm prone to being overwhelmed, and I've had to train myself to focus, fully, on one thing at a time. Lately, I set the timer and tell myself: you only have to work on this for half an hour and then you can switch gears. I have so many things I want to do sometimes, that when I am working on something, I'm only half there, the other part of me worrying that I should be over there working on the other thing. It's really annoying. So I'm trying to rewire my brain on that one.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
I bawl my head off at the end of Once, when he gives her the piano, and the camera pans out and you see her, in her appartment, playing her piano with her little girl beside her. It's so achingly real, especially since I sometimes fall into the trap of feeling confined in my creativity because I have 2 children. Also, I LOVE The Secret Life of Bees, and think about this one part almost every day: The beekeeper ladies tell the girl that if you "send the bees love", you won't get stung. I've been trying to do this in my life - send the hard parts love, and maybe it's coincidence, but I find that things turn out much better when I do this.

***
Thank you, Kim!

Fire Starter Sessions in Los Angeles!

2009-04-15T23:33:00.000-07:00

Guess who's coming to LA in June? Danielle LaPorte, arbiter of White Hot Truth, strategist and kick-ass extraordinaire. Oh yes. Oh yes, she is! I'm super-pleased to be sponsoring two days of her Group Fire Starter Sessions, June 12 and 13. Following is the lowdown.
***
Think tank your business with Danielle LaPorte in LA.
Got the mojo, but need the game plan? Have the strategy but want the customers, the capital, the Twitter following? From start-ups to 9 to 5'rs who want to break out on their own, this is a special opportunity to get PRACTICAL ANSWERS and MAJOR INSPIRATION to take your business to the next level.

A Group Fire Starter with Strategist, Danielle LaPorte
3 hours. 10 female entrepreneurs.
A candid success story. Your questions.
Useful ideas on how to rock your business.

"My Fire Starter Session with you is the best investment I have ever made. Ever. You pinpointed exactly what I needed to do to go to the next level. Within a month, I've had a 125% increase in income. What's next?!"
- Sarah Bray, Web developer, Virginia Beach

When: Friday evening, June 12
6:30pm to 9:30pm
- or -
Saturday morning, June 13
9:30am to 12:30pm
(a 3rd group may be added for Saturday afternoon)

Where: Los Angeles – location TBA

Cost: $100.

Brought to you by Emma Alvarez Gibson and Old Soul Ink.

“Your work is like a blazing path into my highest good with my business. I can't thank you enough for your authenticity, humor, and straightforward honesty. Your Fire Starter sessions are something I would do over and over again.”
- Lauren Harkness, Jewelry designer, Seattle

How it works:
1. You register for the evening or morning group – there are only 10 women per session.
2. I send you the “Burning Questions” to answer.
3. I personally review your business in advance. Send me to your site and the sites that inspire or compete with you. I will likely come to our session armed with some ideas for you.
4. The group session is part motivation, part how-to, and 100% inspiring. I talk candidly about the grace and grit of my accomplishments - from pitching Oprah producers, to raising big bucks in venture capital, landing book deals, rocking social media and social responsibility, while balancing spirituality and legal contracts.
5. We jam. We’ll look at each person’s business or ideas and explore everything from branding to guerrilla marketing and social media.

The session is relaxed, but intensely focused. Women only. Real experience, unfettered opinions, and genuine encouragement. True magic. Truly practical.

Booking is first come, first served. Contact me directly: d@daniellelaporte.com to reserve your space. Upon payment via Paypal, I'll email you the Burning Questions and you let the sparks fly.

Group Fire Starter Sessions are incredibly useful and meaningful experiences. Spread the word.

With Love,
Danielle

THE PROMO STUFF:
Danielle LaPorte founded www.whitehottruth.com because "self realization rocks." Her blog as been lauded as "one of the best places on-line for kick-ass spirituality and business." She is the lead author of the bestseller, Style Statement: Live By Your Own Design, which caught the attention of Oprah producers, and Body + Soul Magazine praised it as "redefining the concept of style." She is the co-founder of the popular personal development site, carrieanddanielle.com - which she left in 2008 to go solo.

For ten years, she ran her own business development and communications agency "promoting visionary people and projects" - from Nobel Peace Prize winners to philosophers and pop stars, and worked with the top US publishers on publicity campaigns. As the director of a DC-based think tank for future studies, Danielle managed scenario-planning projects for the likes of the Pentagon, The World Bank and IBM.

She now helps entrepreneurs blaze their careers and creativity with her signature Fire Starter Sessions. A speaker and media personality, she has been featured in Elle, The Huffington Post, Vogue Australia, The National Post, Domino Magazine, Better Homes & Gardens, Entertainment Tonight, and numerous talk shows. She is based in Vancouver, BC.

. . . . . . . .

“I had the privilege of having a Fire Starter session with Danielle. I honestly feel like I’ve been revived after flat lining. She makes it easy to let go and trust the process even if you don’t see out outcome at the moment. By the time I finished listening to the recording of our session, I had completely written my action plan. I haven’t stopped since."
- L’Tanya Durante, magazine founder, North Carolina

"You're one of the most highly intuitive, creative souls I've ever worked with. Each time we speak, you open my mind and heart to career possibilities I've never thought of. Really, you're a true creative visionary/genius."
- Linda Siversten, Writing Consultant, author of Harmonic Wealth with James A. Ray, and Generation Green, Los Angeles

"...brilliant, radiant, generous and results oriented."
- Rebecca Walker, named by Time Magazine as one of the 50 most influential American leaders of her generation, Maui

"An excited, thankful update: my blog readership went up 60% last month. THANK YOU, THANK YOU a million times over for all of your practical inspiration. I really feel blessed."
- Lindsey Lewis, Yoga teacher, and Writer, Vancouver

"F. Scott Fitzgerald held that the mark of a good mind was the ability to hold two thoughts at the same time without them colliding. Danielle LaPorte has that ability to an awesome degree: the ability to be both a tough professional and a sensitive human being, to talk a mile-a-minute and then really listen, to value her own time highly and the use it generously on behalf of her clients, and finally, to emphasize both grassroots publicity opportunities and national media priorities."
- Dan Simon, Publisher, Seven Stories Press, New York

"...one of the coolest things I have ever done for myself."
- Alisa Barry, CEO, Bella Cucina Artful Food, Atlanta

“My mind-altering Fire Starter Session just over a week ago is having an ever-growing ripple effect. Our one conversation cut through layers of fog and delivered insight and business answers.”
- Emily-Sarah Lineback, Creative Director, Booneville NC

***
So! If you've got a business, or a business idea that just won't leave you alone, this is for you! I can't wait--it's going to be an amazing time. I hope you can make it!

Image by kool_skatkat via Flickr.

The OSI Interview: Fake Nick Cave

2009-04-12T23:38:00.000-07:00

It is sorely tempting to say that Fake Nick Cave needs no introduction. But for the sake of what Nick Cave might refer to as "a pleasing geometry," let's go ahead with a bit of an intro, shall we? Fake Nick Cave is different from Nick Cave. For starters, his name begins with Fake, while Nick Cave's name begins with Nick. (This might sound a bit elementary. Trust me, it is lost on many people.) But Fake Nick Cave is also very similar to Nick Cave. He's an oft-surly, thin-hipped, moustachioed singer/songwriter from Australia with a history of anger, heroin and generally disruptive behavior, who now resides in England and has played with the likes of Mick Harvey, Warren Ellis, Tracy Pew, Polly Jean Harvey and many others. He, too, has a son with a woman by the name of Viviane and is also currently married to a woman named Susie. And, like Nick Cave, Fake Nick Cave is friends with Jarvis Cocker. The similarities are frankly amazing. Never one to shy away from controversy, Fake Nick Cave has created a bit of a commotion on Twitter, causing the TwitPowers-that-be to intervene on behalf of...well, it's not entirely clear which parties, exactly, felt so deceived upon "discovering" that Fake Nick Cave is different from Nick Cave that they had to go and file a grievance. One can only speculate that they are probably not regular readers of Fake Nick Cave's Twitter feed. Pity, that. In any case, I am thrilled to share Fake Nick Cave's take on the Old Soul Ink interview with you. And nearly as thrilled about his fantastic photograph.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
My nurse with her hot cocoa, and spending time scanning the pages of my most precious posession: the botanical edition of the Poet's Rhyming Dictionary. In my writing, I focus on slowing down my whirling emotions into a single thread. I like to write about strong, angry people showing a vulnerability, an earnestness, maybe even a need for love and redemption. V is for VIRTUE, and all of that.

2. Which bits matter least?
Dreams. I dream often of Polly's lips, or of Viviane chasing after my moustache with giant clippers shaped like Polly's lips... The worst is when I wake up, sweating, after having dreamt that Anita poked me on Facebook. Over time, I have learned to place no importance on my dreams -- they are not reflections of inner desires but rather the result of too much Rocky Road of Gibraltar ice cream before bed.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
Smack.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
"Me" time. I need to be reminded that I am more than just an international superstar with a fabulous moustache, so I nurture myself with bubble baths, pedicures and massages. After the fight with Mick, I even began seeing an acupuncturist to refocus my energy.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
When I am about to perform in Wim Wenders' film Wings of Desire. I am nervous and mumbling to myself -- "I'm not going to tell them about a girl, I'm not going to tell them about a girl..." -- and then I walk onto the stage and launch into From Her To Eternity. I weep just thinking about it. Truly inspired.

For the curious, a bit of minutiae I vehemently do not like is the now unsingable second-to-last verse of Babe, I'm On Fire.

***
Thank you, Fake Nick Cave, for this enlightening interview!

The OSI Interview: Kayte Terry

2009-04-07T20:35:00.000-07:00

Kayte Terry writes the blog This Is Love Forever. She is a stylist, author and all-around crafty lady. She lives in Brooklyn, NY [again, Brooklyn with the cool kids! We are so getting a complex in LA.] with her husband and their rabbit/muse Potato. Kayte is the author of Complete Embellishing, my very favorite crafty book (check it out, it's fantastic!) and the forth-coming book Appliqué Your Way, out next fall. She'll also soon be working on a new series of softies (like this one) of endangered fish and other sea creatures on plaques. Her favorite things right now are: paint by numbers, Japanese craft magazines, '90s club kids and mylar wallpaper and the color yellow.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
Little details are very important in my work. Embellishing is all about details and that's really where you see the individual "hand" of the crafter. The placement of a sequin or an embroidery stitch makes a big difference.
Also, it's important to me that I know how things were done before we had kits and machines to do it all for us. I like to know the "right" way to make something even if I don't end up actually using that technique.

2. Which bits matter least?
The threads and bits of fabric that end up all over my rug. The dishes that sit in the sink when I am really busy. The occasional nagging sensation that I am making something weird or ugly.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
Worrying about whether my job is silly or frivolous. "Friends" have actually said this to me before but I think that making things beautiful is really important.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
My public image. It's not like I'm famous or anything but when you have a more public profile than most people, you think about what you say before you say it and you try to keep super-personal information off the internet.

Also, I have learned to pay close attention to details in materials I work with: the patterns of vintage wallpaper or fabric, the detail in a bead or button, the color of threads and the textures of yarns. I like working with vintage materials the most because each material has a rich sense of history.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
I love little tiny moments in life when you feel like everything is perfect: walking around New York and having one of those "I am so lucky to live here" moments, that feeling in the air when you can sense the seasons changing, the smell of someone you really love...these are the best parts of life.

***

Thank you, Ms. Kayte!

5 Tips for Twitterers

2009-04-03T14:54:00.000-07:00

For those about to Twitter: I salute you. You're taking a step in the right direction! Twitter will absolutely help you to connect to your audience (assuming your audience is on Twitter, right?), whether that audience is "women over the age of 35 who read AdBusters" or "skateboarders who are obsessed with Dogtown." Good on ya for making the jump from scoffer to believer, or at least to willing-er. (If you're still not convinced, don't tell me about it, unless you want me to make you read Havi's post again. I'll do it! I ain't afraid.)

Anyway, strange perceptions about Twitter abound, and I field so many questions about it that I thought perhaps a basic how-to would be useful. Also, last night I attended an event for women in business (it was good, y'all!), and the Twitter-related questions directed toward Alaia Williams, who spoke about social media, made me see just how widespread the, well, HOW-exactly-does-this-Twitter-thing-go?! conundrum is. Here, then, are the five things I find most important. It's obviously not A Comprehensive Guide to Twittering Success. Also, it is in no way meant to imply that my own Tweets are fascinatingly perfect, or even live anywhere near that neighborhood. Rather, it's a broad-strokes version of what I try to keep in mind as I do this.

Ready? Okay.

1. Be polite (gosh!). You're there to participate in discussions. I know you know this, but sometimes we all have trouble remembering it and start thinking we're there to perform THE MOST AMAZING MONOLOGUE THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. (I am guilty of this myself. Which is why it's good that I also have a blog.) Discussions involve other people, other points of view, and require your attention. Respond to the people who send you @ messages, particularly if you are big on asking open-ended questions. Even more particularly if you use people's responses as market research. Otherwise, you look like a boor. And I don't know about you, but I do enough boor impersonations in person; the least I can do for my cause is try not to do it in text.

2. Provide useful and/or interesting content. I can't tell you how many otherwise interesting people I've shied away from on Twitter simply because their updates read something like this:

otherwiseawesome Going to bed.
otherwiseawesome Hey guys good morning!
otherwiseawesome Had really great pasta lunch
otherwiseawesome Brushing teeth to go out pesto in teeth! LOL
otherwiseawesome Going to bed.

To quote @maggie: No one cares what you had for lunch. Is there an article you think is really helpful/inspiring/hilarious? An application/band/bakery you've just started using/listening to/frequenting that you can't get enough of? Chances are very good someone else will feel the same way about it! Give people the opportunity to learn about things they may otherwise never hear about. Weigh in on a debate. Suggest a new way of doing things. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering; sincerity really does go a long way here. Did you see something bizarre on your way home from work?

whatpossessedme A blind homeless man serenaded us with a toothless rendition of "DA YA THINK I'M SEXY" on the subway tonight. Someone shouted "NO!"

3. ...But! Be human. No one is a clever-clever machine all the time. The everyday bits (minutia, if you will!) can be just as interesting as the clever-clever bits. Context is everything. For instance, @kellysims is a freelance graphic designer; he often Tweets about on-the-job idiosyncracies, and you don't need to be a designer to be in on the joke:

kellysims I'm working from a photocopied paper that has been marked up with orange marker, red pen and black pen. All by 3 people. Oh, and stickies.

At the opposite end of the spectrum is another of my favorites, @nickcave, whose full name is Fake Nick Cave. The person behind it obviously knows a lot about the real Nick Cave--enough that nearly all of the Tweets are everyday bits, which is what makes them hilarious:

nickcave Grooming my moustache.

Context. Context. Context.

4. Improve your editing skills. This sounds all tedious and scholarly, but all it means is: figure out which parts of your message are the most compelling. You've only got 140 characters, so make each one count. Look around at the people whose Tweets you find most interesting. I bet you'll find their content is short, sweet and to the point. Which is kind of the point, after all; Twitter isn't for rambling. Plus, no one likes to read a message comprised primarily of abbreviated words.

5. Avoid the hard sell. Avoid it like the plague. I mean, look--so many of us are entrepreneurs, artists, musicians, what-have-you. It's almost a given that if you're on Twitter, you've got a blog, at the very least, that you'd like to promote. If you're selling something, the way to do it on Twitter is to be interested, interesting and sincere. There are so many services looking for customers out there that your personality is going to be the number-one thing that sets you apart. If you come across all "What's it going to take to send you home with a car today?" then chances are pretty good you will annoy the very people whose business you want.

In the end, what you need to know on Twitter really isn't all that different from what you already know about life. Be nice. Be interested. Be generous. Be self-aware. Be your best self. The sky may be falling and the web may seem like the Wild West even at this late date, but it's still a very (very, very) small world. Act accordingly, and you'll be pleased with the outcome.

And if you still have questions, feel free to drop me a line.

Friday Frisson: Special "Sick Preschooler" Edition!

2009-04-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

Quickly, quickly, before the lad wakes up! Here are the frissons I'm enjoying of late.

How to Beat the System to Get a Great Job. This post by Penelope Trunk, a fascinating woman if I ever virtually met one, offers great ideas for kicking career ass while you're underemployed.

Lollychops. Great projects, but for me the big draw is the huge amount of super cute/useful downloads.

Claire Oswalt. I don't remember anymore how I found Claire's site, but every few weeks I have another look to see what she's up to. She's a fantastic artist with incredible style, and does everything from drawings to knitted pieces to wooden puppets. These are a couple of my favorite pieces from her site. It looks like she's got an exhibit up right now, here in LA, with one to follow in September.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Not the movie (though obviously I can wax rhapsodic about that anytime--just ask, okay?), but an amazing reinterpretation of the poster made for the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin. I so want to hang this in my living room. And maybe pet it every now and then.

Just Something I Made. Cathe Holden is another artist with a graphic design studio, an Etsy store and apparently a zillion ideas on gorgeous, fun things to make. On top of which she's also designed a bunch of super-cool blog buttons and add-ons. Love it.

Contxts. I signed up for this yesterday, although I'm still a bit undecided on it. It's a great idea: an SMS-based business card that you can simply text to people! On the other hand, the business card itself often helps me to remember the person, and cold text ain't about to do that. Also on that same hand, I tend to keep only very close contacts on my phone, and am not sure that I want tons of business-card info stored on it. But on the third hand, who knows? Send me an email if you want to exchange biz-card beams.

Enjoy your weekend, lovelies.

The OSI Interview: Michelle Ward

2009-03-30T00:01:00.000-07:00

Michelle Ward set a course for acting at an early age. For twenty years she worked toward reaching the fabled bright lights. But one day she realized that this goal was no longer as valuable as it had once been. In her own words:

I enrolled in a Career Change Workshop at NYU, and through a series of personality tests, exercises, and conversations with my classmates, I realized that I wanted to help others find their own path, especially "creative types" that thought they wanted one thing their whole life and now have to rewrite their plans. I wanted to help them figure out what they wanted to be When They Grow Up.

But I didn't want to limit myself to Career Coaching. I wanted to help people along with all their life challenges, but not in a Hippy-Dippy or a Tell-Me-What-Your-Parents-Did-When-You-Were-Five way. I wanted to be their springboard, their partner, their confidante, their cheerleader. I wanted to be their Life Coach!

I went full throttle into taking classes at the International Coach Academy, where I'm enrolled in the Certified Professional Coach Program. I will then be certified by the International Coaches Federation, who "exists to Build, Support and Preserve the integrity of the coaching profession."

I've been training my whole life to be a coach. My communication skills, my enthusiasm and sense of humor, my desire to help people find their passion, and my people-loving-personality makes this the role that I was born to play.

She ain't kidding, either. But she is fantastic.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
Listening, or as coaches call it, "power listening." For me, it means to shut off the part of my brain that gets ready to jump in and contribute to a conversation, and to turn on my natural curiosity. If something comes up while my client is talking, I'll jot it down or let it go, trusting that I'll know the next question to ask when the time comes. If you go past all of the tools that coaches use, it all boils down to being non-judgmental and to listening.

2. Which bits matter least?
Doing the "right" thing. As a perfectionist, I was scared you-know-what-less to start coaching, because I didn't trust myself to do it "right." I would start that call with a million (OK, 4) things in front of me: my coaching model, to visually let me know what I wanted to focus on; a binder full of questions to ask, based on the situation presented to me; my notes for that client along with their intake form; and a pad of paper. Now I only have my notes and a blank sheet of paper. And if The Worst thing happens (aka What Now? Syndrome), I admit it. Oddly enough, I think that my saying, "I'm not sure where to go now" allows the client to chart the course. So, You're Welcome, clients!

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
Being a people pleaser once seemed to be my role in life - to make everyone happy, to not rock the boat, to be everything to everyone. Not to say that I don't care what people think anymore, or that I try to piss people off. I don't. But I know what I need to feed myself emotionally, and I can't say "yes" to everyone. I know my limits, my priorities and my values, and if someone or something doesn't fall within that I'm OK with letting it go.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
Silence. Building on my answer to question #1, I have had to stop myself from filling the silence when I'm with a client. The chatty extrovert in me wants to jump in, ask another question, give the client multiple choice answers, or share a personal story. But I've learned that those silences are one of the only ways to prove that you've made the client stop and think, possibly in a different direction than he or she is used to. I used to live for the applause when I was pursuing a career as an actress, but now the silence is my applause. Ironic, huh?

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
John Cusack holding the boom box in Say Anything. Seeing the outtakes on a scene that Glenn Close did for Fatal Attraction, where no two takes were alike. The custom-written verse that my brother-in-law added to Grow Old With You, the song he played at my wedding. The way that my husband's whole face lights up when I ask him if he wants to do something that he really wants to do at that moment in time. The tiny piece of wallpaper - a single blue star on a white background - I took from my childhood bedroom and carry around with me. The place in the show (always at the theater, never at the movies) that gives me chills. Most recently, the new When I Grow Up logo! I want to keep those kids in my pocket and carry them around with me. Oh wait - I guess that's what business cards are for.

***
Michelle, thank you!

What Keeps Me Steady

2009-03-28T17:20:00.000-07:00

Michelle at When I Grow Up Coach has been Tweeting about Positivity Week, and while I wasn't able to commit to a full week of participation, I did want to contribute! Check out her great blog as well as Jeremie's blog, Sunday Night Success, for thought-provoking articles and more information on Positivity Week. Also, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this was partially inspired by Colleen's post on taking umbrage.

Historically, I've been an all-or-nothing type of girl; either I'm thrilled and enthusiastic, or I'm Sylvia Plath's spiritual twin. You probably know someone like that. It's a very tiring way to live. At some point I decided it wasn't for me. So I studied what other people did, people who were able to remain calm, non-reactive, rational. Intelligent, kind, authentic [I hate the way that word is bandied about, but it's the only one that fits in this context] people, whose skin seemed to be much thicker than my own, which was more or less like waterlogged vellum. And I'll be honest: it helped me tremendously to be married to such a person (who also, rather conveniently, happens to have a whole lot of patience).

I've found, through observing others and through good old-fashioned trial and error, that there are six things that really help me move beyond my tendency to react. They are:

As much as possible, remaining an observer, not a reactor, to my feelings. It's a bit of a cliché, but feelings are, after all, just feelings. Like fear, they are meant to be a general roadmap, not a step-by-step instruction book. It's a mistake to rely on them. It's also a mistake to ignore them. Listen to them, but remember that context is everything.

Making time for devotion. My days are not the same without this component. When I make time for prayer, I'm more connected, more alive.

Stewardship. (Taking care of what I have.) If I can be trusted to take care of the little things, I can be trusted to take care of the big things. (There I go with that minutiae thing again.) Looking after what you've got, be it as small as one cat and a studio apartment or as large as a family of 8 and a business, is love in action. You'll see a difference in yourself and your life immediately. Seriously.

Being actively grateful for the good things in my life. Here is one way you might look at my current situation--these are all irrefutable facts: I was laid off in early February. We very much need to be a two-income family. When I read up on frugality, I realize that most of what the pros are suggesting in terms of cutting corners are things we've been doing for years--in other words, we really don't have many corners left.

You get the idea.

This is how I view my life as it currently exists: I no longer have to get up five days a week to spend 8-10 hours a day working at a job where I was miserable. Instead, I am spending my days with my son, doing crafts (I love that!), taking him to the park, teaching him things, laughing with him. I am getting my house in order (even the frighteningly-disorganized closets and pantry). I am improving my cooking and homemaking skills. I'm baking! (I love baking.) I spend several hours a day working on my freelance business, which has taken off in a way I can't quite believe just yet. I'm reconnecting with old friends. I'm meeting new friends. I'm getting to know my community better. Yes, our budget is tighter than ever. And I am so grateful.

Running a quick reality check. This goes hand-in-hand with the above, but is sort of in its own category as well. My family and I have a roof over our head, more than enough food on the table, clean water to drink and bathe with, more clothing than we really need, family nearby, amazing friends. We are healthy, resourceful, resilient, and we make our own fun. Most people on this planet are not so fortunate.

Making time to exercise. We all know the benefits of regular exercise, so I'll keep this one brief: when I make time to exercise, I am less of a psychotic [redacted]. (I like to think of it as a gift to the world at large.)

What about you? What keeps you going, keeps you steady, keeps you motivated and focused in the best way possible? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments section.

Image via Shabby Chic.

Friday Frisson

2009-03-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday, lovelies! This week's frissons can be filed under "useful," "too awesome for words," and/or a gorgeous combination thereof. Let's jump right in!

Laurel Plum Online. An organizational genius, Laurel blows my mind. She has excellent, non-threatening tips for organizing, like, every single bit of your (my) life. Also, her matter-of-fact tone makes me feel like my rusty homemaking skills are not something to be ashamed of--just worked on. Easy, right?

OSS 117:Le Caire nid d'spions. I'm not quite sure how to convey the awesome contained within this movie. Let's start with the tagline: Secret agent OSS 117 foils Nazis, beds local beauties, and brings peace to the Middle East. Good, yeah? It's sort of like...if Inspector Clouseau [the real one, not the big phony Steve Martin one] were a little more Austin Powers. And looked like an exact cross between Bob Odenkirk [on the left, there] and Hugh Jackman [you don't really need a photo of Hugh, do you?]. Oh, and it's in French. (Twenty-five percent of you are running out right now to get this. The other 75% of you are unsubscribing to this feed.)

On Simplicity. This is a blog I can't get enough of right now. Of late, I am particularly enamored of this post, entitled 37 Easy Ways to Say I Love You. True, heartfelt and practical. Kind of what we could all use right about now, I say.

Libre Tea Glasses. An idea whose time has come! A portable, thermal cup for loose leaf tea! Loose leaf is so much tastier and healthier, too. Now it's easy to take with you. Seriously, why did this take so long? I grew up drinking tons of tea, or what we called tea; apparently the correct nomenclature for the stuff is tisane? Well, I never. In any case, preparation for said beverage went more or less thusly: pick lemongrass, orange leaves, lemon leaves or mint from the garden, or open up a cellophaned pack of Mexican cinnamon sticks. Boil water. Turn off heat, stick rinsed foliage of choice in the water, cover. Let steep about 5 minutes. Drink. Now I can take my tea with me! Bonus: it looks so pretty in the clear container. Love it!

Friday Microcoworking. Listen, L.A. freelancers: this is really cool. A group of us has been gathering at a coffee shop in Redondo Beach on Fridays for a couple of hours. We get some tables together, plug in our laptops, get some work done, have good coffee, and share in the unique delights of freelancing. Come join us, won't you?

Have a fantastic weekend!

xo

The OSI Interview: Mark McGuinness

2009-03-23T02:00:00.000-07:00

Mark McGuinness is a poet and a coach for creative people. Mark's latest venture is Lateral Action, a web publication to help creative professionals achieve success (creative and commercial). Lateral Action is a joint venture with Brian Clark and Tony Clark. Mark is a bona fide savvy guy with a bona fide poet's soul--a most unusual and delightful combination. Via his websites and his Tweets (he's @markmcguinness on Twitter), he shares useful tidbits and witty observations (real witty, not Twitter witty, if you know what I mean?). Not to put too fine a point on it, but Mark is a well-rounded person, and how often does one find that in these heady, Web 2.0-heavy times?

(Oh, and in case you're wondering about some of his spellings: he lives in London, y'all.)

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?

Coaching: Often it's the little cues from the client during a session -- a change of expression or voice tone, a gesture, a hesitation or turn of phrase -- that alerts me to something important. A lot of the art of coaching is your ability to pick up these little clues and weave them back into the conversation.

Writing: Obviously there are plenty of verbal minutiae to be aware of -- grammar, punctuation, spelling, syntax etc. And with poetry there are additional elements of formal minutiae -- rhyme, rhythm, meter, alliteration etc. At the moment I think tone is probably the element I'm mostly preoccupied with, in poetry and prose. It can be very subtle, and is influenced by a combination of all the other elements, so you have to become very sensitive to pick up when you're hitting the right note or when the writing is off key. My poetry teacher Mimi Khalvati has an incredible ear for the authentic voice of a poem, and I'm doing my best to learn from her and edit out the false notes.

2. Which bits matter least?

Coaching: The bits that feature in long explanations -- too much back story or analysis of past events. Sometimes clients start off thinking I need to know everything about their situation in order to help them make changes, but usually that isn't the case.

Writing: Explanations again! I have a tendency to over-explain things, which I'm trying to cut down on.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?

I used to be a big book collector and was very finicky about getting (and keeping) books in mint condition. These days I don't buy so many books and I'm not quite so fussy about their condition. I've even started using (gasp) a pen to make notes in some books!

I think the change is partly because I do a lot of my reading on the Internet, which makes you realise how ephemeral most writing is. And hopefully it's because I've come to realise that the words are more important than the books. I treasure the words more than ever.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?

Coaching: All of it, originally. A big part of my training when I started out as a psychotherapist was to get me to stop thinking about theories and start looking at clients and listening to them. More recently, since I trained as a Reverse Therapist I've become more alert to the promptings of my intuition. So now when I get a gut feeling about something I speak up and share it with the client. Usually they find it helpful.

Writing: Well right now I'm working on Lateral Action with Brian Clark, a world authority on copywriting headlines, so I'm taking a lot of care over writing my article headlines! And also with Tony Clark, who is the design and technical wizard at Lateral Action. Tony is rightly very concerned that we format everything correctly so that it looks right for our readers - so I'm doing my best to be meticulous with formatting codes!

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?

It's just occurred to me that my poetry blog is a collection of my favourite bits of poetry minutiae. For example, I wrote a recent post wondering whether W.H. Auden rhyming 'clerk' with 'work' was a sign of him developing an American accent. (It doesn't rhyme properly with a British accent.) That's the kind of thing that I doubt anyone else loses much sleep over, but I enjoy writing about it on the off chance that someone, somewhere may find it of interest. In this case, I was delighted to discover that I was right -- one of my readers found a recording of Auden reading the poem, which confirmed the accent!

***
Thank you, Mark! (Especially for the bit about 'clerk' and 'work'... I feel much less alone in the world now.)

A gentle reminder...

2009-03-21T07:55:00.000-07:00

The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life’s plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. - Robert Louis Stevenson

(via SimpleMom)

The OSI Interview: Colleen Wainwright

2009-03-15T23:40:00.000-07:00

Colleen Wainwright is a writer-speaker-illuminator who started calling herself “the communicatrix” when she hit three hyphens.

She spent 10 years as an award-winning TV copywriter crafting ads for brands like Wheaties®, Gatorade® and Jell-O®, and another 10 acting in them for cash money. Since deciding she’d blow her brains out if she had to sit through one more meeting about which way the bears danced around the cereal box, Colleen spends her time teaching other creative souls how to talk about what they do in a way that wins them attention, work and satisfaction.

Currently, this translates as speaking to groups about non-sucky usage of social media, consulting with solopreneurs about how to get their message out there and creating content for an alarmingly large number of online outlets.

What else? She is one hell of a woman. Tough, warm, funny, irreverent, kind and with more ideas in one little finger than are contained in the entire body of most other humans, Colleen is one of my local heroes. Give her all of your business and money as soon as you possibly can.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?

I'm tempted to say that my work is all about the minutiae. I try to carve out great swaths of time for myself to take in and sift and putter so that the tasty morsels get trapped in my web. (How many metaphors did I just butcher with that? Five? Six?)

Anyway, if I had to narrow it down, I'd say that in my writing, close attention to the thin, thin line dividing using the personal to illuminate the general and self-diggery is the most important thing. In my consulting work, finding the thread that allows a client to hang onto something after we're off our call and she's into navigating the sometimes murky waters of marketing possibilities by her lonesome. In my speaking work, it's literally slowing down and enunciating so that I'm understandable. I spent 18 months of my two years in Toastmasters on that one, and it still trips me up.

2. Which bits matter least?

I've found that if you provide people with the help they need with cheerfulness and relative alacrity, they're amazingly forgiving about things like late invoicing, follow-up emails to clarify stuff, and general disorder. Things that would not be tolerated in one's accountant or attorney are fine and dandy for me. Um, so far.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?

Could you be more specific with that?

(Ha!)

Almost all of it. Perfect punctuation. Adhering strictly to protocol. Dotting "i"s and crossing "t"s. Dress codes. Restraining myself from using foul language. Even showing up on time! Traffic is so abysmal here in L.A., people are stunned in almost a bad way when you show up exactly on time. Like you're some kind of alien replicant.

To be clear, I'm very glad I learned all that Catholic school, Miss Manners-y, upright citizen-type behavior. I know when I'm breaking the rules, and if need be, I could probably travel again in fancier circles and not embarrass myself nor whatever poor, deluded soul invited me. (Although I'd definitely need a brush up. And how.)

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?

Incomplete email replies sent too quickly. Numbers, of all things—I'm numerically dyslexic, and have learned to repeat EVERY number I'm given to the person giving it me to ensure I can actually return the call/write the check/find the address. This is a weird one, but making sure my purse isn't upside down when I pick it up, or that the lid is tightly on a jar of whatever when I go to grab it.

Most of my pecadilloes are easily handled by s-l-o-w-i-n-g down. Not that I'm ever so inclined.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?

Other than me turning 13 on Friday the 13th, they're all from Play Misty for Me [Note: Why yes, Colleen did rise even further in my estimation after I discovered that she loves Clint also, thank you for asking.], as I've seen it upwards of 100 times (although I've only watched it all the way through a half-dozen). I love that the note Jessica Walter's character has supposedly pinned on a large stuffed animal was clearly written by an old prop guy; I recognize the handwriting as the style of my grandparents. Donna Mills' character makes repeated references to the blondes who used to tempt Clint Eastwood (and drove her away); Ms. Mills is herself a blonde, and that unchanged line is a clear indicator that the writer was herself a brunette.

My all-time fave bit of minutiae from PMFM is the "set dressing" for a scene in Clint Eastwood's kitchen: an empty paper towel roll and a packet of Skotkins fancy paper napkins beside it. It screams "bachelor" pad; I swear, it could have been shot in my dad's post-divorce apartment.

***

Thank you, Colleen!

A Modest Proposal

2009-03-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

Aside from the bit in the sidebar there to your right, I've not discussed my jealous and possessive love for ads. [This might be the right time for you to click away from here as fast as you can, if you would prefer to remain blissfully unaware of this madness.] Print ads, in particular. I can talk about the nuances of advertising the way other people might talk about, oh...heroin. (And by "people" I mean "people currently on heroin.") It's endlessly fascinating. When it's wrong, it can be so spectacularly wrong that I almost enjoy the outrage it produces in me, as though it's the villain tying the ingenue to the tracks. Currently, for instance, there is a billboard on the side of the freeway nearest me. It's for a big chain supermarket, and it features a sheepdog. The sheepdog is speaking. (You can tell because the large words right next to the dog are in quotes.) And the sheepdog is saying, "My owner's smart. She shops at Ralphs."

No, I'm serious. On a billboard, in front of God and everyone, "My owner's smart. She shops at Ralphs." To which one can only assume the intended reaction goes something like, "Oh! I'm not shopping at Ralphs. Does my dog think I'm dumb?"

At that point in the analysis my brain breaks a little bit, and all I can think is WHO WROTE THAT? Because somebody wrote it, and then someone put it next to the stupid photo of the dog, and then someone pitched it! And then... someone approved it. Someone looked at that ad, with its dog and its bordering-on-Flight-of-the-Conchords-absurdity level of fallacy, and said You know what? That's it, right there. That ad is fantastic! Do it. This will reach our customer, the person who lives in fear that her dog thinks she's a big dummy and might be laughing behind her back with the other dogs. We're going to be rich!

Seriously, what a big hot mess! How does that happen?! Why is it okay?! It's like flushing money down the toilet, as my mother said every five minutes when I was growing up.

At the opposite pole exist the ads that cut through the tired hyperbole and speak to who you are on a very basic level. Yes, yes, it's manipulation at its finest--but that's the point, after all. I may find Apple's policies odious and their ubiquitous presence just this side of Starbucksian, but damn, their ad campaigns make me believe. They (duh) work.

A few years back, Sharpie had this brilliant campaign geared toward creative types--graphic designers, specifically; it was a multi-page affair that ran in graphic design magazines. Each page featured some part of a designer's workday, with one word, in bold caps--e.g., a Pantone book said "LUST" beneath it; under an image of a meeting in an oval conference room was the word "HELL". It was simple and clever and personal and so, so appealing. The very last page said, in part:

When you look at movies and books and typography, do you get excited?
When you can't solve something, do you beat yourself up?
Do you then start fantasizing about jobs like selling shoes?
Worry that you'll never have a good idea?
Feel like an imposter?
Do you suddenly worry you're becoming a hack?
Do you worry you already are one but don't know it yet?
When you come up with a good idea, do you suddenly feel like life is worth living again?
Do you fall in love with your ideas?
Do you wear that love on your sleeve?
Are you, in face, one of those people?

My immediate, gut response: yes, yes, yes! And: I need seven thousand Sharpies because they understand me!

Advertising isn't about showing off. It's about seeing people for who they are. (There is a difference.) When people feel acknowledged, they are more likely to want to be around the entity doing the acknowledging. Brand loyalty, anyone?

But very good advertising has the power to do more than just sell, to create more than that coveted customer-for-life. I cut out that list of questions from the Sharpie ad. I glued them to the front of a notebook. And when I was working a job that I loathed, that made me doubt my innate abilities and the skills I've worked at long and hard, I would look at those words. They helped to remind me that my small-minded supervisor could say whatever she liked, but I wasn't going to be there forever. I'd be on to bigger, better, more creative, more suitable things.

And hey, look, I am.

Oh, of course I don't think Sharpie responsible for my moving on up, so to speak, but look--if it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. Not everything is going to be inspired or inspiring, sure, there's nothing sexy about shopping at Ralphs. But for Pete's sake, what's wrong with stepping up the game, just a little bit? What if we tried?

Why, of all the dirty, rotten...

2009-03-13T00:57:00.001-07:00

Dear friends, there is no Frisson Friday today! I'm so sorry. I've been working and working at some very exciting new things, things I can't discuss just yet but ooh, they're going to be good! Anyhow, as a result, here it is Friday and I'm empty-handed. Not to mention it's coming up on one in the morning and I need to get up early to bake (!) for a yuppie-esque mama/kiddo thing I've organized (!)at the park tomorrow. So can I ask something of you? Will you leave me a comment with a Friday Frisson suggestion? That would be lovely and much appreciated. Your favorite article, video, site, image, Tweet, whatevs. I'd love to know what it is. Thanks, dollbabies. You're a bunch of peaches!

So what.

2009-03-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

This is something I cut out of the Los Angeles Times years and years ago. I don't even remember the name of the short-lived column it came from, let alone the author's name (if you do, will you let me know so I can give proper credit?). But I loved it, and still love it, and revisit it whenever I'm beginning to get too caught up in myself. Puts me right back down on the planet. I hope you like it, too.

Consider this. We humans eat till we flap, smoke, use ATMs at night, drive--fast and angry--with bald tires, bad brakes and a busted headlight, exercise nothing but our clicker thumbs, drink till it's up to strangers whether we get home, and far and away the biggest concern among readers is:

How can I not get hurt?

Most of us treat our bodies like rental cars, and yet we coddle our precious little feelings, the one part of us that won't break, die, run out or get cancer. (The way we treat others' feelings is a different story.) If we can run on five hours' sleep and a Ho-Ho, we can certainly handle "I'm sorry, I don't like you that way." Or, "You're not a strong candidate for this job." Or, "Your face could scald milk." Or, "There's a thin envelope here from Yale."

But no, we retreat into our ruts like they're trenches. I'll give you an example. I'll bet everybody knows at least one smart kid who doesn't study, who pretends he doesn't need to. If he dogs it and fails, he's a lazy cool smart guy; if he tries and fails, he's suddenly not so smart. Beat failure! Don't learn!

Here's the reason to test our resilience every chance we get: The alternative is living passively, never actually deciding anything, wondering why we're irritable, average, bored, boring and a deep shade of yellow.

So don't reach down, reach up--for the bright and groovy guy, for the promotion, for the moon. Try to get that driveling essay published. Audition for everything. Apply to a hot college. Wipe out, look stupid, try again. A decade ago, my cousin-in-law decided to be a comedian, moved to New York and fed himself be doing every unbearable job out there. This year: Letterman and a Major Motion Picture. 1. Wow. 2. Why not? You can be told you're not smart, not attractive, not cool, not interesting, not good enough for the job, and then, sure, you can quit--but if instead you dismiss it, or learn from it, or move on to something else, pretty soon you'll start to walk like you can take it. Those confident, charismatic people everyone privately resents? Know what they are? Fearless. But you won't have any idea what that means unless you scrape the couch from your backside. The worst that can happen is "No." So what.

The OSI Interview: Rod Sherwin

2009-03-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

Rod Sherwin, known as "the tapping man", is an Energy Therapist from Melbourne, Australia. Rod runs the Tap4Health EFT Practice and works with clients all over the world on issues such as stress, anxiety, trauma, abuse, anger management, depression, weight loss, public speaking and presenting. His approach is an unconventional and original combination of warmth, humour, respect, intuition, and skill. Rod speaks frequently on mental health and emotional well being with a genuine and authentic style. Rod's primary tool for helping others is the Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) which he combines with his experience in Energy Medicine, Solutions-Focus Brief Therapy, 6-Human Needs Psychology, and Neuro-Associative Conditioning. Rod's original qualifications are in Computer System Engineering and Computer Science which gives him a very grounded and practical approach that's focused on achieving real results for his clients.

I must admit to having scoffed the first time I came across the notion of EFT. It seemed to me on par with saying that I'd thrown a ball into the air to resolve my outstanding emotional issues, or that by rolling my eyes counterclockwise eight times I had been able to stop smoking or something. I suppose this is why it's important to keep my words soft and sweet: I've been eating them now for weeks. Hit with a particularly nasty allergy attack last month, I decided to try tapping (I'd read about it over at iCiNG). It was sheer desperation; if nothing else, I thought, tapping would temporarily distract me from the nonstop sneezing, itchiness, coughing, near-hysteria and other gross things that come with extreme seasonal allergies.

Less than an hour later the allergies were almost completely gone; all that remained was a slight itchy sensation in my nose. Leaving me--ahem!--something like completely astonished. There's something to this, I thought, feeling like a jerk for all of my scoffing. Fast-forward a few days, and I'm tapping, via telephone, with Rod. (But first he was treated to a fine cross-examination, which he very admirably took in stride.) He's deeply intelligent, kind, intuitive and earnest, and didn't seem to mind my smartass jokes. I loved working with him and would absolutely recommend him to anyone who's interested.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
When working with a client I find using their exact words and phrases is so important. There are layers of meaning behind the words we choose and changing a person's words I feel is disrespectful and invalidates their feelings. Have you ever said "I feel sad" and had someone reply "You should feel angry"? Does that feel like they are empathising with you or presenting their point of view? Sometimes you need to help people clarify the words to describe what they're feeling but there is a difference between helping them find the words to describe an emotion and another of running rough-shod over the words they have chosen. The subtlety of the words is so important.

2. Which bits matter least?
This is where my tendency to perfection gets in the way. Most of the time it all feels important to me. I feel pressure to get everything right and do even the smallest things perfectly. What I tend to pay least attention to is how I dress. While people do judge me by what I wear in the first few moments of meeting me, once they start working with me or hearing me speak they see past the clothing to who I am as a person.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
There are only 24 hours in a day so you are never going to have more time than you do today. As you grow a business, to take on some new project you also need to decide what you are going to stop doing. It used to be important to me to keep up with all the blogs that I read but now days I may get to them every second day and am happy to mark a lot of stuff as read even if I haven't read it. It's just not that important in the bigger picture.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
Given I work from a home office, clients come through my home so I've had to learn to pay attention to how tidy it looks when someone walks in. I have developed the habit of washing up after every meal because dirty plates on the sink are not a good thing for people to see when they enter.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
One thing is my sun alarm clock radio. Instead of waking up to a in shock to an alarm, my sun alarm gets brighter over 30 minutes and simulates the sun rising and I find it such a gentler way to come to consciousness. Another thing would be my Timex watch that is more than 15 years old. I always have it with me when I travel and deliver training as it has two time zones, stop watch, and count down timer, and alarm. All valuable things to have on hand (or on wrist as the case may be). I've travelled with it all over the world.

While I have lived in a lot of different places, I grew up in a small country town in North Queensland, Australia called Charters Towers, population about 8,000-10,000 people. Charters Towers at the peak of a gold rush was known as "The World" and had a population closer to 100,000 which, at that time in Australia, was the same as the nearest capital city. Now days, Charters Towers is the home of the Gold Field Ashes which is the largest amateur cricket carnival in the Southern Hemisphere.

***
Thanks so much, Rod!

Friday Frisson

2009-03-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

Let us spring forward into the weekend.*

Platform 21. Remember when we fixed things because they weren't disposable? Oops, turns out they still aren't disposable. But we knew that, right? Platform 21 pushes the crazy notion of repairing what you've got. (Hear that, Apple? Repairing! What whaaat?) I would like to give Platform 21 a hearty handshake!

The Graphics Fairy. Being the crafty, DIY sort, I've got the vapors over this blog, a fantastic source for vintage graphics. Like this one. Charmant, indeed. Look at this one! (It has P's would-be name written all over it. P, you can write "Missus" above the "Gervais" and make a set of coasters... c'est romantique, non?)

Holy Experience. You don't have to be a Christian to appreciate this phenomenal post on this excellent blog. Gratitude and good cheer are no longer optional for me. These words--one in particular; you'll see--have helped to cement that in me.

Crash. I am obsessed with this painting by an artist named David Molesky (who, by the way, was also pre-med, with a focus on neurobiology? Wow.). If I had a painting like that, I'd never leave the house.

*Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Birthday Treats for You!

2009-03-04T18:37:00.000-08:00

It's not my birthday, but it's someone's, right? This is a fairly exhaustive list of free things you can get (in the U.S. only, sorry, my international friends) on your birthday. Check it out!

(Via BargainBabe.)

The OSI Interview: Sarah McColl

2009-03-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

Sarah McColl is the lady behind Pink of Perfection, a blog near and dear to my heart because of the way Sarah combines a sassy, DIY sensibility with a love of all things home-related. Visiting her blog is like hanging out with a fun, smart, sweet, creative girlfriend who always has something interesting going on and can't wait to tell you about it. She was until recently a senior editor at Conde Nast, and now is one of many in the fast-growing pajama brigade. She grew up in Dallas, Texas, where she learned to ride horses and developed a penchant for gracious living and Frito pie. She was selected as one of Jane Magazine's "30 Under 30" and her blog has been featured in the New York Times, Bon Appetit, and on The Martha Stewart Show. Someday she would like to learn to make cheese, be slightly less confounded by her sewing machine, and start a Brooklyn-based supper club. [Why is there such a massive assortment of amazing people in Brooklyn? I am insanely jealous.]

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
Deadlines, relationships, manners, discipline.

2. Which bits matter least?
I think email can seem really urgent to people, but the world doesn't stop if it takes a couple days here and there for a response.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
I think I used to care a lot more about seeming "cool" and all the minutiae that goes along with that (all the name-droppy "in" stuff). Now I want people to think I'm a good, kind person, but I'm working on caring less about what people think in general. You can't please everyone, and you'd be crazy to try, right?

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
The very definition of minutiae: details. I am not what you might call a "detail-oriented person;" I'm a big picture person. So it's taken a few years for me to see the beauty in a spreadsheet.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
Such a great question! I love so many little details of life: the sound the stovetop coffee maker makes when the coffee is ready (kind of a whistling, gently boiling hiss sound), the final duh-duh when Law & Order is about to start, the pop of a champagne cork, a new magazine in the mailbox, the smell of yeast, stacks of handkerchiefs in a junk shop, chopping onions (if they don't make me cry), a simple turn of phrase so lovely it makes you catch your breath, waking up on Saturday morning, the way my mom smells.

***

Thank you, Sarah!

Friday Frisson

2009-02-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

Happy happy (almost) weekend, everyone!

carbonmade. So here I've been wringing my hands and developing stomach pains over my lack of online portfolio like a sucker, when all I need to do is get myself over to yonder URL and, like, upload some stuff. Presto change-o, a portfolio. Did I mention it's free? Am I the last person on earth to know about this? Hot damn, it's rad.

Nirrimi Photography. Whilst having a good meander through carbonmade I stumbled onto this lovely set of photos. Daydreamy, nostalgic, but exciting, they remind me of the photo shoots in the first few volumes of Sassy, like maybe 1988-90. Love! But wait...it turns out the photographer is sixteen years old. Shut up, really? Oh yes. And her self-portrait on her bio page is beyond gorgeous. See? Unreal.

the tweezers. A few years ago I had this terrible job. It was crazy, insane madness. The kind of job that acts like it's going to kick your ass at the bus stop if you don't give it your lunch money or your soul or whatever. One of those deals. But two good things came from it: one, I learned way more about my limits and my potential than I can go into detail about here; two, I met Bob, who taught me about a zillion life lessons in subjects ranging from sales and marketing to David Bowie to Antarctic exploration. And who is cooler than the coolest stereotype of cool you can imagine (if you don't believe me: one day he told me about the time he hung out with Iggy after a show. Yeah, that Iggy.). Anyway, so he's recently unearthed a bunch of gems relating to the tweezers, his band from days of yore. Check it out here! And there's a blog here, too.

Miscellaneous assortment of shame. Okay, I've been debating over whether to include this link for a couple of weeks now. Because it's not, like, awesomely hot? Except that every time I go through these, I end up in tears, doing that very unattractive scream-laughing. Sometimes I have to slap the top of our computer desk. See, the lovely and talented Heather Bailey held a contest on her blog, inviting people to leave her their most horrifyingly embarassing stories in the comments section. And while some pretty horrifying shite has happened to me, it's nothing like some of these stories. Granted, not all of them are knee-slappers--some didn't seem even remotely embarrassing (in fact some seemed like a pretty good, dignified day to me). My advice is this: if you need a laugh, click the link and scroll about halfway down the page. Dive in. Enjoy. Make sure you read the one about the pregnant American woman and the bathtub in West Berlin. Ahem.

Enjoy, lovelies. Thank you for sharing your time and your thoughts with me.

Better'n a frontal lobotomy.

2009-02-25T09:45:00.000-08:00

I saw this over at P.'s house and thought it brilliant.

I know lots of people who could have used this in their twenties.
(To say nothing of their early thirties. Or their mid-thirties, even.)

Why Minutia Matters to Me.

2009-02-24T15:24:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I was rude to the security guard at the front gate of my condo complex. I had broken my don't-let-yourself-get-hungry rule, had left the house two hours prior for a hair appointment that had to be rescheduled due to my having been caught in traffic, and had neglected to pack my usual small bag of almonds. And so, when I drove up next to the guard station and the new guard came dashing out, hands raised, asking me to stop, I kind of freaked out. I rolled down my window and without even thinking said, "I live here," in a tone that could have peeled paint. "Oh yes, I know," said the man, politely, "But where is your sticker?"

For my parking sticker, you see, was on the opposite side of the dashboard, rather than taped to the left side, as it should have been. There was no way for him to have seen it, as he was on the left side of the car. So what do you suppose I did?

I pointed. Dramatically. "It's right there," I said, like a petulant thirteen-year-old.

"Oh, yes, I see it now, I'm sorry," he said.

In the two minutes it took me to get to my parking spot and reach my front door, I died about a million times. I had been shockingly rude to someone whose was doing exactly as he was being paid to do. (And I recalled all the times I've rolled my eyes when the security guards here have let my guests in without even letting me know they're on their way. Why can't they do their jobs?) He had been polite to me. No, he had apologized to me. Because times are tough and jobs are hard to find. The people are terrible sometimes, I pictured him telling his wife in their language, but you just have to apologize often and they calm down.

With no warning, I had become the enemy. An Ugly American. One of the Entitlement Brigade. The complete opposite of what my parents had raised me to become. And I wanted to disappear.

I had lunch (crucial, obviously). I put on workout clothes. Then I walked up the hill to the guard gate. The same man was in the middle of what seemed to be a very confusing situation, talking to another guard on the walkie-talkie and to a third party on the phone. Nevertheless, he looked over at me and said, "Yes, how can I help you, ma'am?" I died yet again. "Oh no," I said, smiling and bowing my head, "When you're finished." He nodded and bowed his head in return. When he finished, he said, "Yes, ma'am?"

"I just wanted to apologize," I said. "I was so rude earlier, and I am so sorry. I was late [this was to spare myself the deep-seated fear of having to discuss the concept of me, eating, with a perfect stranger--and because anyway, being late is just as bad an excuse for rudeness as being hungry] and I was so rude to you. I apologize. You were only doing your job, and we very much appreciate that [apparently my phone network had joined me? I dunno.]."

"Oh! No, it's okay," he said. "Only that your sticker was on the other side, and..."

"I know!" I said miserably. "I didn't tape it to the left side, it was completely my fault, not yours. I'm sorry."

"It is no problem," he said. "But please try to put the sticker on."

"I will! Thank you."

"Thank you." He nodded. We smiled at one another and I walked my miserable self around the neighborhood for the better part of an hour.

Here's what really gets me: the reason traffic had been so bad earlier, when I was trying to get to the hair salon, was that there had been a terrible accident. The flattened, crumpled remains of a very expensive convertible were shocking enough (I still can't picture what must have happened; it looked as though a boulder had fallen on it), but the sight of two arms limply reaching up from within the cavity, as six men worked together to cut and lift the body out and onto a waiting stretcher? That's going to stay with me for a long time, like the body I saw on a traffic divider once, as a child, of a man who had just been hit by a car and was now lying motionless. I knew he was dead. I prayed for him for miles after we'd passed him, but I knew he was dead.

Despite all that--still! I let my annoyance and my impatience get the best of me, and I abused someone working, for all intents and purposes, in my employ.

I can hear what maybe some of you might think: Oh, let it go, you're not that important, do you really think one bitchy woman ruined this man's life? I'm not that important, no, and I very much doubt that I did much to that man other than make him roll his eyes. But that's not why this matters. It matters because I think one is either part of the problem or part of the solution. If I'm not giving, I'm taking. And I try very hard, though I know my efforts come up short all too often, to give more than I take.

This is why minutia matters to me. Our lives are made up of a million tiny particles that gravitate toward one another, like grabbing like. I've got a rich tapestry of flaws, God knows (and so does anyone who's met me). I want there to be more generosity, more love, more kindness in there, so that those particles can hang onto one another and grow. We've all heard the expression "garbage in, garbage out," but the opposite holds true as well: the more good we output, the more good we want to input. And that changes us. And the people around us. And the world.

It matters. It all matters.

The OSI Interview: Andrea Scher

2009-02-23T04:00:00.000-08:00

Andrea Scher is a photographer, jewelry designer, life coach, mama and overall amazing, inspiring woman. I've been following her work and reading her blog for several years now, and what continues to intrigue me is her bravery. She is incredibly honest, and by that I don't mean that she is big on airing her dirty laundry. Instead, she writes about life as many of us experience it: not just a series of highs and lows, but the tiny joys that add up to a spectacular tapestry, the banal sorrows that can sometimes dampen our spirits even when we know better. The things that make most of us smile to ourselves, cringe, say a silent prayer of thanks, squirm--she tackles them with an unusual grace, wisdom and very palpable sense of love.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
In the context of my jewelry business, the bits of minutiae that matter to me most are the ways that I connect with my customers. I opted out of selling jewelry wholesale after a short time because of the disconnect between making art and actually connecting to the people who were enjoying it. Cranking out dozens of necklaces for stores made my work feel like product and took a lot of the pleasure out of it.

I love knowing a bit about each person that orders my jewelry. Sometimes that is a story about who it is going to, and sometimes it could just be their address. Either way it helps me connect and get satisfaction out of my work. On the other side, most of my customers read my blog, and I think they get pleasure out of knowing a bit about me, so the connecting goes both ways.

2. Which bits matter least?
The bits that matter least...I strive for excellence, so I am tempted to say that everything matters. The quality of my work matters, the relationship I have to my clients matters, the bottom line matters. I suppose what matters least to me is doing it the "right" way, or the way my inner critics (or outer critics!) think I ought to be doing it. I work very intuitively, very unconventionally at times, and I like to trust my gut when it comes to choices. It is possible that I could be making more money by doing things more in the box but I value my creativity and spirit, and this way works for me on that level. My business is a true expression of who I am... and I wouldn't want to compromise that by making choices that don't feel good in my soul.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
In my life, the bits of minutiae that matter least at the moment are the virtual ones. I have pulled away from the obsessive checking of email (it's so tempting!), limited the blog reading I do, and just generally trying to focus on tending my life that is more local. It's tricky because there are so many incredible people out there, so many dear folks in these creative circles to engage with, but I have been noticing the degree to which I have not been tending and cultivating my friendships that are right here in my town, my neighborhood, and my home. This pulling in feels good and appropriate for now. I have been getting to know my neighbors more, meeting more real live moms these days and trying to keep in check how many "screens" I am looking at in a given day.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
I have had to train myself to pay closer attention to the big and small details of my finances. I am one of those people that has survived so far without balancing a checkbook, but I often wonder if I would feel more secure and grounded in the reality of my financial life if I kept closer tabs on things. I have taken baby steps with this, hired a bookkeeper, learned to use Quickbooks, etc. but I still have so much resistance. I am looking for that sweet spot between paying close attention and just trusting that everything will work out fine. In the name of not worrying and just trusting the universe, I suspect that I am burying my head in the sand a little... so I am challenging myself to grow in this area.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
Just like all of you, I adore the movie Amelie. One of my favorite bits is the one where she is dipping her hand in a barrel full of beans...

Bonus question: What are you up to right this second?
Right now I am working on an online class in collaboration with Jen Lemen. It will be a Mondo Beyondo class! where we support people in realizing their most outrageous (and ordinary) dreams. Stay tuned on my blog for that... http://www.SuperheroJournal.com

Andrea, thanks so much!

***
Tune in next Monday for another installment of the OSI Interview!

Friday Frisson: The Smart Set

2009-02-20T02:00:00.000-08:00

Lie To Me. What a great show. Well-written, with interesting characters and great dialogue... it's no Sports Night or nothin' (remember that?), but it's goooooood. I've admired Tim Roth since Reservoir Dogs, so it's nice to see him in an ongoing role. (And if I may say so, he classes up network television a bit, eh?)

One Sentence. Real stories, by real people, told in one sentence. It's harder than it looks. Try it! And try to guess which one is mine.

Kleenex Anti-Viral Tissue. Wait, I can explain. While perhaps not representative of the seksay content you've come to rely on here [anyone up for the ol' Tim-Finn-got-his-arm-sweat-on-my-arm story again? Huh?], this product is, nonetheless, pure genius. It deserves your attention! I don't know how it's been with you, but this winter has been relentlessly sick-making around my house. This Kleenex actually kills 99% of the little monsters that are itching to get all up inside your system! Blow your/his/her nose and the tissue kills whatever's in it! Hm. That's not quite... I mean, I'm sure your fingers are fine inside the tissue, you know? They wouldn't put, like, flesh-eating Kleenex out on the market, right? Anyway, they aren't paying me; I am genuinely this excited about tissue. Because the winter illness, it must end. I just can't take any more.

Nubby Twiglet. Au currant, interesting, useful and attractive. Aahhhh... that's good blog.

Happy weekend, lovelies. Enjoy it!

And speaking of badass...

2009-02-16T11:05:00.001-08:00

I want to hug this woman for having the moxie to pull this off.
Attitude really is everything.

Deep red lips, ridiculous earrings and contact lenses instead of glasses would finish the look for me, femme it up and increase the masculine/feminine tension. Then again I wouldn't have the sand [my new "thing" is talking like Bill the Butcher, let me know if it's working, okay?] to wear this. Or maybe instead of "sand" I mean "length and svelteness." Anyway, swoon. Love it. Since leaving the world of executive drag (to borrow from the inimitable Communicatrix), I am very easily excited by crazy-amazing outfits. Swoon, swoon.

(Image via The Sartorialist, naturally.)

The OSI Interview: Lisa Brasier

2009-02-16T03:00:00.000-08:00

For more than a decade, Lisa Brasier worked as a creative director for various ad agencies in Southern California. In 2006, she and her husband made an unconventional move to a 40-acre property in the wilds of upstate New York, where she dedicates herself to photography and other obscure art projects. She also continues to work as a creative consultant for ad agencies on both the East and West Coasts. punch concepts is the company she has set up for her creative services. I've known Lisa for eight years and am still tossing around the idea of starting a fan club for her. The woman is a rock star. She's hysterically funny, in an abstract, arch sort of way (which is often reflected in her ads and photos). She is charming and kind, but simultaneously a no-bullshit straight-shooter. She does an impeccable Kate Winslet impersonation. And she loves Edward Gorey and Clint Eastwood. I mean, come on. I'm thrilled to be able to include her in this here interview series.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
That my feet aren’t cold and I have plenty of gin on hand.

2. Which bits matter least?
Uninformed opinions.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
Fame and fortune. In the current economic blight, I’m relieved if I can pay the electric bill.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
Waiting for others to complete a sentence before I begin speaking.
It’s practically impossible to do.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
I like pondering my dreams. Especially the one I had last night
about the clove of garlic and the giraffe.

Currently, Lisa is paying homage to the stark winters of upstate New York (because, you know, when you are from SoCal, the land of perpetual summer, actual cold is downright exotic) with a series of large-format black and white photographs, "winter," which she plans to exhibit in the near future. Here are a few of the pieces.

And remember...

2009-02-14T15:12:00.001-08:00

Friday Frisson

2009-02-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

Drop.io. Listen: open another browser window right now. Type "drop.io" into the address bar and observe in amazement as your life gets more convenient. Sign up for a free account; upload large files. Send the link to people you know who want to download the large files; they then download said files. Easy, peasy. Way easier, peasier than zipping, and more convenient than a memory stick. And NOT ACCESSIBLE TO SEARCH ENGINES. And free. (And you can customize the look of the page, which is fun.)

iCiNG. Like a party with magazines, thick black eyeliner, cupcakes and gin. And the Velvet Underground, maybe? And glitter. Reading iCiNG makes me all squealy and gets me out my not-infrequent funks these last couple of weeks. It's run by Gala Darling, an adorable badass. Firstly, that is her legal name--she chose it herself. (Having legally changed my name at the age of 22, I have a special soft spot for others who do this.) Secondly, she's kind of all over the place--fashion! health! self-image! travel! boys! fun!--which is always a million times more interesting than keeping with the same theme all the time. Thirdly, and perhaps most important, it would be all too easy for this type of site to go horribly awry. But owing primarily to the balance of frippery, common sense and a genuine interest in other people, Miss Gala's iCiNG is a delight.

This crochet necklace from Cheeky Magpie. I think I would replace the button with something a bit more flash, which is fine because the necklace isn't for sale; nay, that Cheeky Magpie has created a tutorial! Which means if I ask my mama for (yet another) crochet lesson (it never seems to stick, but perhaps the eighth time's the charm?), I could totally have one of these by the weekend! (Image from Cheeky Magpie, which is so fantastic I am considering starting a fan club.)

This magic, right here. As you may or may not know, Mr. Eastwood enjoys a rather exalted status in my household (or would, were he ever to visit). I think this collection of all things Eastwood is a damn fine thing. Have a look at this set of three teaser designs from a UK press sheet for A Fistful of Dollars.

Also, apparently he was a badass even as an infant.

I just soiled my diaper. Feelin' lucky, punk?

Yeah, sorry, I just couldn't help myself.
(All Eastwood photos via The Clint Eastwood Archive.)

The OSI Interview: Daniel Pink

2009-02-09T03:00:00.000-08:00

Daniel Pink probably doesn't need much of an intro, but here it is anyway, straight from his site: Daniel H. Pink is the author of a trio of provocative, best-selling books on the changing world of work.

His newest work is The Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The Last Career Guide You’ll Ever Need, the first American business book in the Japanese comic format known as manga. (In 2007, he won a Japan Society Media Fellowship that took him to Tokyo to study the manga industry.) Before that, he wrote A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, a long-running New York Times and BusinessWeek bestseller that has been translated into 18 languages. His first book was Free Agent Nation: The Future of Working For Yourself, which Publishers Weekly says “has become a cornerstone of employee-management relations.”

Dan's articles on business and technology appear in many publications, including the New York Times, Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, and Wired, where he is a contributing editor. He has provided analysis of business trends on CNN, CNBC, ABC, NPR, and other networks in the U.S. and abroad. He also lectures to corporations, associations, and universities around the world on economic transformation and the new workplace.

(So, the man is a genius, and yes, it is taking a lot for me not to type OMG he's on my blog!)

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
I think it's the small details in products or services or a piece of writing. It could be a sentence in a book that isn't fancy, but is perfect. It could be the way my iPhone fits so well into my hand. Stopping to notice the details can be a joy.

2. Which bits matter least?
A few come to mind. First, email. Lots of unnecessary minutiae there! Second, some day-to-day hassles that seem urgent in the moment, but ultimately don't matter. Being a few minutes late to a meeting. Someone not returning a phone call. Those sorts of things.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
The moment I ceased caring what other people thought was one of the most liberating moments in my life. I don't mean that in a rude way. It's just that if you get bogged down trying to please everyone or worrying about how you look to others, you'll never do anything worthwhile.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
Seeing the negative space.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, a movie, etc.)?
I don't know if these qualify, but I'd include: My son's laugh; the smell of the newspaper in the morning; the solidity of my desk. Not sure anyone else notices these things, but I sure enjoy them.

Dan, thank you!

***
Know someone crazy-amazing? Want to see them interviewed? Leave me a comment and I'll see what I can do for you!

Since when were you so generously inarticulate?

2009-02-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

I am inexpressably happy, typing away and listening to my Lastfm station, which is playing a gorgeous moody mix of...er, mostly 1970s and early 80s punk and post-punk from Australia. I feel alive!

But suddenly I am crestfallen. Nay, distraught.

"Why do I have the musical taste of a fifty-year-old man?" I say to H. He has been working at the kitchen table, creating a sort of lightsaber thingie for his bike out of a cold cathode light (I know, right? He is a GENIUS. Hawt!!).

For a moment I think maybe he hasn't heard me. Then he nods.

"A bitter fifty-year-old man," he says, patiently and without looking up.

Friday Frisson

2009-02-06T09:41:00.000-08:00

[First, a confession: I have no recollection where I got the first two of these images. If they belong to you, will you let me know so that I can credit you?]

Gorgeous, lovely, adorable, charming--and a million other adjectives. I can't get enough of this photo.

Yes, yes, yes! This is exactly how it works!

This is a photo I took facing south from the top of the parking structure at home. This sunset is, to me, shorthand for "home."

5 Questions, Part 2

2009-02-06T09:30:00.000-08:00

Michelle of When I Grow Up posed these five questions to me. (And shortly I will be returning the favor!)

* What’s your morning routine? If you don’t have one, why not?
I sort of have one? At least for when I'm employed. Get up, make tea, check email, get dressed, get prettied up. If it's a day I'm taking my son to be looked after by one of his grandmothers, then all of that is interspersed with getting him ready, watching him do somersaults, and the like. I need to get better at this, because having a strong routine makes a difference in my day. I'm just now beginning to see the value in routines.

* What do you need to let go of, right now?
Probably the pervasive self-doubt I run into often. I'm getting better at this, too.

* What do you most value, on an emotional level?
Loyalty.

* What 5 words would your friends use to describe you?
1. Loyal
2. Warm
3. Intelligent
4. Funny
5. Strong

* What’s the one thing you should be doing for yourself that you know you’re not?
Making time to write every day.

You sweet squishable you

2009-02-05T17:15:00.000-08:00

Somehow, even without a proper, paying, 9-to-5, I am as busy as ever. Busier, perhaps, because the job hunting is something I'm having a very difficult time turning off. Which is to say: there's so very little brain left over at the end of my day. And if you would be so kind as to indulge me, this shall have to pass for a post:

I really, really, really want one of these.

It's adorable! It's classy (see photo with top hat)! It's squishy! I could hug it late at night when I am the only one awake, compulsively refreshing the job boards and yearning for hot chocolate which I haven't had in nigh on a month due to contractual obligations (or something like that). Oh, squishable octopus! I need you in my life.

And now for something completely different

2009-02-02T21:40:00.000-08:00

A new experience today: being escorted from the building where, up until about 9:15 this morning, I was employed. Not that I hadn't seen it coming: my workload had all but dried up in the last month. And at the client site where I was based (it feels strange to think/type in the past tense!), the talk has been all budget cuts, all the time. And I wasn't exactly stretching any muscles anymore, save the occasional strained eye muscles. Still and all, it's a little stressful. But! Hackneyed though it may sound, I'm certain that something amazing is just around the corner. Sometimes we need a little push in pursuing our dreams, and I'm taking this to be the push I've needed. So, dear Internets, if you could, please have a look at what I've done and what I do and give a holler if you know of some awesome organization that needs me. Could you? I surely would appreciate it. And, naturally, I am happy to return the favor.

Cheers! Onward and upward...

The OSI Interview: Dylan Chorneau

2009-02-02T03:00:00.000-08:00

Dylan Chorneau is a painter and photographer based in Charlotte, North Carolina. His work in both mediums grabs me primarily because of two things: a) the very textural quality they each possess, transcending their inherent lack of a third dimension; and b) the very real affection and respect for his subjects that comes through in each of the pieces. I'm a far cry from an art critic, obviously--but I know genuine when I see it. Dylan is the real deal.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?
Photo: The moment that the shutter fires is the the single most important detail. Anyone can take a great photo if they press the button at the right time.
Paint: Having facility with the viscosity of the paint is really important. If I'm going to make that stuff do what I want it to do, I have to know how it moves; or know how to make it move the way that I like.

2. Which bits matter least?
Photo: Material choices, what film, what camera to use, etc. don't really matter if the content is there (and sufficient light).
Paint: I hate writing my signature on the front of a painting.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
Photo: I used to constantly check the light of a scene with my light meter. People move and things change quickly so I'm better off guessing and shooting than checking for nothing.
Paint: There are a lot of little intellectual things that arise while painting that need to be dismissed. If I get bogged down with "problem solving" minutiae, I know I'm working too hard in my head and not enough with my heart.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?
Photo: I've been trying to memorize an expanded version of the "sunny 16" rule. This is a system for judging light values.
Paint: Oil paints are not just colors, they're organic and inorganic compounds. So you have to remember the things you like and dislike about the way the pigments interact with each other and how to come up with new and interesting combinations.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?
I like looking at old pieces of metal (hammers, coins, buckles, etc.) and inspecting it's tiny nicks and scrapes. Each mar is a moment in time for that object. In my mind, when you give an object history, you give it a life. This is the basis for my art. See anthropomorphism.

Thank you, Mr. Chorneau! Really looking forward to stalking you further on Flickr. I mean--ahem, moving on...

***
Is there someone whose musings on minutiae you are simply DYING to know? Tell me about it and I'll see what I can do for you!

Minutia Bite #4

2009-01-28T16:29:00.000-08:00

It's a brazenly gorgeous summer day in 1978. Warm sun, light breezes. The car I'm riding in, along with my mother, my brother and one or two of my aunts, seems immense. I am three years old. Everyone is happy. We're going to the beach! The radio is playing Fleetwood Mac's "Don't Stop" and it seems like the happiest song on earth. It matches the way we go up and down the hilly street to find parking. The grown-ups are laughing and joking with me. Later, the drive home will be crunchy with sand and soft with exhaustion. Much, much later--years later--I will hear the song on the radio and marvel at the flood of nearly tangible memory.

Five Questions

2009-01-28T07:00:00.000-08:00

This has been making the blog rounds; you agree to be interviewed by a fellow writer. Your responses are then posted on your blog and theirs. You then agree to interview anyone/someone who would like to be interviewed. So here we are, five questions for moi from White Hot Truth.

[If you'd like to be interviewed, read the interview rules following this post.]

Hey, Old Soul Ink...
1. So, like, what's the big deal with typefaces? Why does it matter? Could a normal person possibly be obsessed with a...typeface? I mean, really. Please explain the lunacy. {FYI: Helvetica is the only way to go. Ever. Just my opinion.}

(Could a normal person possibly be obsessed with a typeface? Absolutely not!) Language is endlessly fascinating to me. Typefaces are a language unto themselves. They are tiny little systems of visual communication, a message within a message. Lines, sizes, serifs or a lack thereof, spacing--each typeface has its own identity and evokes its own particular sort of emotion. Using the right font for the right project means that it's probably not going to be the first thing you notice; you're going to notice the overall message. Then you'll realize that the font helped to project that message. (You know...if you like that sort of thing.) The wrong font brings the party to a screeching halt. Many a battle has been waged over a typeface, and if that sounds like I’m kidding, I’m not telling it right.

As for your love of Helvetica… .

2. Are you an old soul?...how do you know?
I've heard it all my life, more times than I can count: "You're an old soul." I am. Not in the sense that I've been around before (that's not part of my belief system), but in the sense that I've always been older than my years. Felt older, thought older. We've all met people much older than ourselves who seem much younger than we are; I am the opposite, I think.

3. What 3 books rocked your world?
* William Gibson's Pattern Recognition, for an ultra cool storyline, economical style, and a main character whose peculiar sensitivities to advertising and marketing mirror my own, to an astonishing degree. (That's code for "Cayce Pollard may not be a real person but she makes me feel like less of a freak.")
* Michael Ondaatje's The English Patient, for its gorgeous, mosaic-like quality and his understanding of the most delicate and complicated human experiences.
* Frances Hodgson Burnett's A Little Princess, for being a children's book that addresses the uglier details of life without losing its grasp on the uncompromising beauty of life. It's a bit of a primer, I think, for growing up. And it's extremely smart, to boot.

4. The best thing about LA is....?
Where to begin? The weather. The Pacific Ocean. The sunsets. The fact that any landscape you'd like to visit is no more than a couple of hours away. The amazing fresh produce. The Mexican food. The incredible variety of people. The stereotypes you expect and don’t find, and the ones you find and don’t expect. It's a constantly-shifting landscape with many, many pockets to explore. A treasure chest with a surprise every time you lift the heavy lid.

5. What's your big dream? Please tell me.
In my Big Dream, I…
• Develop a wildly successful consulting business. This is still in the delicate planning stages, so I can’t share much detail about it, but I’ll be doing what I love and helping lots of people in the process (it just doesn’t get any better than that!).
• Own a house near the ocean, with an extensive vegetable garden in the backyard.
• Am able to do a handstand.
• Acquire a degree in linguistics.
• Learn to speak French. And Portuguese. And Japanese.
• Have the opportunity to sing onstage with Neil Finn. (For the extended remix, see the column on the right, near the bottom of this page.)

***

THE INTERVIEW RULES
* leave me a comment saying: "interview me"
* all comments will be published
* I will e-mail you five questions of my choice
* you can then answer the questions on your blog {with a link back to my blog}
* you should also post these rules, along with an offer to interview anyone else who e-mails you wanting to be interviewed
* anyone who asks to be interviewed should be sent 5 questions to answer on their blog
* it would be nice if the questions were individualized for each blogger

Complaint Letter To Richard Branson

2009-01-27T08:52:00.000-08:00

This is fantastic. You ought to go and read it now.

The OSI Interview: Danielle LaPorte

2009-01-26T03:00:00.000-08:00

Danielle LaPorte is the founder of www.whitehottruth.com and the lead author of the bestselling Style Statement: Live By Your Own Design. She has been featured in Elle, The Huffington Post, Vogue Australia, Domino, Better Homes & Gardens, and numerous talk shows. A former think tank executive, she now helps entrepreneurs rock their creative potential with her signature Fire Starter Sessions.

A few months back I ordered Style Statement: Live By Your Own Design after reading about it in Domino. The premise (brazenly swiped from Amazon): Part workbook, part inspirational narrative, STYLE STATEMENT presents a series of inquiries that lead readers to the personal words that guide the spirit, look and feel of their life. The first word represents your foundation, your 80%. The second word, your 20%, is what motivates and distinguishes you.

Naturally, I was intrigued. And when the book arrived I couldn't put it down. Yes, it's fascinating; yes, it's interesting; but above all it's extremely useful. I highly recommend it.

And so, when seemingly by chance I happened upon Danielle's website, White Hot Truth--I ain't ashamed--I went a little fangirl. Nothing incites me to action quite like kick-ass, real-life, cut-through-the-bullshit straight talk from a creative, intelligent, intuitive person. Danielle is just that, and her site reflects it. It's a little like a fantastic dinner party, filled with only the most interesting and compassionate people you know, the best music and delicious food and drink. Yeah. Like that.

1. In the context of your work, which bits of minutiae matter most?

I actually just looked up the definition of minutiae to feel, like, tuned in. It gets a bad rap, doesn't it. It reminds me of Nietzsche: "everything is important, nothing matters."

Meaningful minutiae for me: every.single.word.matters. Nothing is published without thought and word economization.

2. Which bits matter least?
The peer pressure to Twitter and optimize search words.
The dust bunnies beneath my desk.

3. In the context of your life, what types of minutiae once seemed important, but have since fallen by the wayside? Why?
How people perceive me used to seem colossally important, now it seems like a detail. Which is not to say it's an unimportant detail - I'm very interested in being understood, but external perception doesn't govern my choices like it used to. I know who I am.

4. What types of minutiae, if any, have you had to train yourself to pay closer attention to?

Typs.
I mean, typos.
I write volumes weekly and it's hard to be flawless, especially when you're a night owl with an early-rising kid.

I've also trained myself to be more sensitve to the people's feelings - which can be very subtle but incredibly meaningful.

5. Just for kicks -- what are your favorite bits of minutiae (personal, from a book, a piece of music, moment in a movie, etc.)?

My 5 Favourite anythings:

I adore my Fire Starter clients. My clients are bright, big-hearted women and I feel blessed to play with them.

I just discovered www.picnik.com for (free) photo editing and I love its simplicty and smarts.

My currently predominant thought: freedom is not something that you need to "earn."
Jason Mraz's CD: We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things.
This quote from poet John O'Donohue: "When we experience the Beautiful, there is a wonderful sense of homecoming; we feel fully alive. Our lives become illuminated and we come to glimpse behind the shudder of appearances, the sure form of things. Beauty is the true priestess of individuation."

***

Thank you, Danielle! Can't wait to see what you do next...

***

And that was the first installment of The Old Soul Ink Interview! The aim is to have a conversation on minutiae with a different fantastic person every Monday. If you'd like to be featured, or would like to recommend someone, drop me a line!

Tweet of the Week

2009-01-23T23:15:00.000-08:00

Oh Lordy. Should I have worn that jacket? Will Twitter explode? Why do I have a face like a torn arse? So many questions.
- @StephenFry
(Also known as Stephen Fry.)

Friday Frisson

2009-01-23T10:51:00.001-08:00

Thanks to the wonders of Last.fm, I've discovered Keren Ann. Lovely, ethereal vocals and music. And these photos of her make me all swoony.

The Other Obama Effect

2009-01-23T09:24:00.000-08:00

The New York Times posted this story, detailing study findings which suggest that the mere presence of Obama in the White House has raised test-taking confidence in African-American schoolkids. An interesting premise.

I've been experiencing my own Obama Effect. It works thusly:

1. Head to the gym, see that elliptical machine is out of order.
2. Use treadmill.
3. Post-workout, take another look at the elliptical machine and before I can stop myself, think, Why is that still broken? There's a new guy in charge, isn't there? We need to get with the program and start fixing things around here!

I mean, really.

I am SO not over this.

2009-01-21T13:13:00.000-08:00

(Sentiment swiped from @stephenriley)

A time such as this

2009-01-20T22:54:00.001-08:00

We were born for a time such as this.

Let it be told to the future world

2009-01-20T11:32:00.000-08:00

These words make me tear up:

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

It's frightening not to be led by my cynicism today. Really frightening. But what a wonderful feeling. I will never forget this feeling.

That Big News

2009-01-19T16:47:00.000-08:00

Happy MLK day, lovelies. This is such an exciting time! Despite myself I'm giddy with relief and joy and anticipation. It makes my cynicism nervous, but that's okay... cynicism can deal with it. It's time!

Also, a week from today, a new feature begins, right here. The Old Soul Ink Interview will ask the same five questions, all pertaining to minutiae, of a gorgeous cross-section of fascinating people. Some you'll undoubtedly recognize; others you'll be excited to meet, I think. There will be authors and painters, graphic artists and comic artists, renegades and rabble-rousers of every sort. Lots of people who defy categorization. They will inspire you, make you think and brighten up your Mondays (I know I can always use a bit of that!).

If there's anyone you'd like to recommend for the interview, do let me know! I'm always eager to meet new fantastic people.

Let's all hold hands now while the future changes hands.

In the year of the scavenger

2009-01-16T09:46:00.000-08:00

I've loved David Bowie since 1983, when I was in the third grade. Shan't bore you with the details, none of which are particularly original, I'd imagine--but one of the many reasons I hold him in such embarassingly high regard is his marketing genius. He sells it like the rent's due and makes you think it was effortless. And he flirts with you while he's doing it! Sigh. So anyway, my point was, imagine the utter delight that bloomed when I stumbled across this article, entitled 10 Creative Lessons From Bowie in Berlin. [As any Bowie fan will tell you, Everything Changed in Berlin. His Berlin period is often spoken of in the same hushed, reverent tones that some people reserve for discussions about Malcolm X going to Mecca.] The article very tidily sums up and dissects Bowie's moves during this pivotal period of time and suggests non-rock-star-life applications of the same strategies. Good stuff, and a great treat for Bowie dorks like me. Via When I Grow Up.

The Confrontation Song

2009-01-14T07:28:00.000-08:00

Persephone made my morning by posting this, and I thought perhaps you could benefit as well. [Assuming you derive the same tremendous amount of pleasure that I do from, ahem, Les Miserables. If you do not, it's okay to go read a cool blog right about now. Hurry, go!]

I can't forget but I don't remember what*

2009-01-12T10:51:00.000-08:00

Some days it really does feel this way.

Courtesy of the wonderful and inimitable Wondermark.

*With apologies to L. Cohen.

Minutia Bite #3

2009-01-11T10:56:00.001-08:00

CAKE's "The Distance" contains this line: She's hoping in time/That her memories will fade, which, despite my reverent affection for the song, sets my teeth on edge. Bear with me for a moment. Ahem.

Is the girl hoping in time? Is she floating around in some sort of space-free, time-only continuum, hoping? Or is she hoping that, as time goes on, her memories will fade? Gentle reader, I propose that Mr. John McCrea and his co-horts meant to guide us toward the latter. Dear Mr. McCrea, could the song not have said She's hoping that, in time/Her memories will fade? Absolutely nothing would have suffered. You would even have gotten a tiny wee hit of syncopation in there with the new wording, a little spice, if you will. Do you see? Everyone would have been a winner that way! But no. Instead, we have this fantastic song with this very troublesome bit of wording that stops my brain in its tracks, surgically removes the dopamine.

For these, to quote a Smiths song lyric from 1987, these are the things that kill me.

Exciting announcement coming!

2009-01-11T10:34:00.000-08:00

Soon, very soon, I'll have some news to share with you. I'm thrilled about it!
Watch this space! And I hope you've had a fantastic weekend...

Minutia Bite #2

2009-01-09T09:16:00.000-08:00

The moment RIGHT before the movie starts, sitting in the dark, in front of a giant screen, when the lion is roaring or the drums are rat-a-tat-tat-ing, or what have you. A new story is about to unfold! It's a delicious excitement that never gets old for me.

Minutia Bite #1

2009-01-07T11:00:00.001-08:00

It's one syllable in David Bowie's "The Bewlay Brothers," but the way he pronounces the final word in the line "With our backs on the arch" just does something to me. He sounds like he's taking a bite out of something delicious and painful.

It's not all bouquets and white crayon

2009-01-03T17:42:00.000-08:00

Normally something like this doesn't much resonate with me. Ordinarily I might call it twee, perhaps a bit precious. But I happen to really enjoy Rachel's blog, her aesthetic and her dreamy, cautious-yet-brave voice. Then there is the fact that she looks a lot like my mother, and a bit like me, in this photo. And the matter, too, of this sentiment being awfully similar to what 2008 was like for me.
Thanks, Rachel.

Master of the house, keeper of the zoo

2009-01-02T20:30:00.000-08:00

I think that, possibly, it makes me a little bit sad that, after the boy puts on a Santa hat and says, "Who am I? Who am I? WHO AM I?" and I belt out, operatically, "I'M JEAN VALJEEEEAAAAAAAAAN!" (complete with hand motions), neither the boy nor his father so much as blink.

Sad? Or smug? I'm not quite sure, to be honest.

Better Living Through Sales and Marketing

2009-01-02T00:10:00.001-08:00

What caught my eye was her name. Merydeth. Oh dear, I thought, for it was too late: I couldn't stop. I was on this particular site--an online publication for the NPR set--to read my very favorite advice column. But over to the right, a randomly-selected-and-placed personal ad had distracted me. Merydeth is her name, and she is interested in candles and dried roses and such.

Clearly, the thing to do was continue. I looked through a few other enticing snippets.

A fellow we'll call Tim would like for us to know that in his bedroom, one will find "Warmth and style, as I have recreated the ambience of a European Villa."

And one rather texture-focused lady, ostensibly hailing from North Carolina, judging by her handle, which I've shortened to Silky, says "I am lookin for a man not a boy. I am lookin for someone to treat me right."

As a happily married individual, it's perhaps unfair for me to nitpick the attempts of other people to find true love. After all, I've said more than my share of awkward (at best) things in my own attempts to find it. But I've always believed that when you're on the market, so to speak, advertising the buyer benefits (forgive me, I've been in marketing a long time now) is the most important thing you can do! What's in it for me? is always, always what it boils down to.

My hunch is that Merydeth will fare best out of these three; she is part of a very specific, easily-identifiable demographic. Like attracts like; voila. Tim and Silky, however, are a different story. And now I feel the need to address them directly.

Tim, no woman wants to hear that your bedroom looks like a European villa. Villas are really big, Tim. Is your bedroom that big? If your bedroom is that big, why isn't the rest of your apartment that big? Simply put, it's like an unattractive girl saying she's got the wardrobe of a model, do you see what I mean? If I say "model" to you, you immediately think "smoking hot," not "awesome clothes." You may feel somewhat misled when the girl shows up for a date with you. It's okay to live in an apartment. Apartments, for most of us, tend to be smallish. It's okay! And anyway, what kind of European villa did you have in mind when you recreated its ambiance? There are many different countries in Europe, Tim, and they do not all share the same architecture. Or decorating styles, for that matter.

But perhaps I am being too harsh. Let me try a different tack. (A slightly different tack.) The kind of woman you are hoping to attract with your advertisement does not want to visit a man whose apartment bedroom has the ambiance of a European villa. She wants to visit a man who owns a European villa, or inherited one, or can rent a room in one for a few days or so. Tim. Listen to me. Do you like European villas? Are they a special interest of yours? Then why not put that in your ad? If they're not an interest for you, what is? What's in it for me? Because right now, all that's in it for me is that you really wish you were someone else. And that's too bad, for a couple of reasons: a) there's undoubtedly a lot more to you than you're giving yourself credit for; and b) no one wants to be with someone who wishes they were someone else.

Now then, Ms. Silky. This will be quicker, as it's getting late and I am sticking by my resolution to go to bed earlier -- but also because your ad just irked me. Of COURSE you want a man, and not a boy. Of COURSE you want to be treated right. Straight up, sister: if you're that demanding in a personal ad, what incentive does a man have to even answer it? Are those wants really the most interesting things about you? I suspect not. What's in it for me?, they will ask, and when they see your ad they will think: Oh! Not a thing.

People, a personal ad is supposed to be the flash, sanitized, most awesome version of you that can exist in a brief paragraph and one artfully-Photoshopped picture! I know that as a society we've become incredibly ~~sloppy~~ relaxed, airing our dirty laundry all over the place and whatnot, but if this is your best, why should I even entertain the thought of sticking around for your worst? If you're anything like me, your worst is pretty stank anyway, and tends to require a lot of apologizing. So come on. What makes you unique? What about you will make it worth their while? It's not about bragging, you see: it's about knowing your strengths. If you don't know what those are, ask your friends. They'll tell you. The last person you dated? What did he or she best like about you? Ask yourself what would make you valuable to another person.

Maybe you're a terrible cook, you never pick up after yourself, and you routinely oversleep. But maybe you also make the other person feel like a million bucks because when they're talking to you, time stops and nobody else even exists. Maybe you are naturally funny, quick to make other people feel comfortable, always making sure everyone else is having a good time. Small things, maybe. But maybe they're big things. Think about it.

Okay, now. Go out and sell it like the rent's due.

The King is Dead, Long Live the King.

2009-01-01T14:50:00.000-08:00

This year I cobbled together bits from the usual New Year's Meme and the Twenty Questions that Tsh at Simple Mom has posed.

Thank you, friends, for reading this, for sharing your insights with me, for choosing to spend your time with me in this small-yet-large way. It means so much to me, and it's an honor knowing you. May 2009 be full of peace, joy and love for you.

SUPER-CRITICAL UPDATE: The two other resolutions I'd forgotten about have now been included.
***

What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
The recurring opportunity to realize that I am so blessed.

What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
Truly, my head swims at this question. 2008 was perhaps the single most challenging year of my life.

What was an unexpected joy this past year?
Love. So much love, so readily available.

Pick three words to describe 2008.
Long, exhausting, trial.

With whom were your most valuable relationships?
This is a tough one. Relationships are so important, so valuable.
My family, of course; my close friends, of course; but I learned more than I could have imagined from all of them, even the unpleasant relationships.

What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
In 2008 I learned to stop worrying about what others think of me.
It's a remarkable lesson that continues to pay off.

In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
Whether it's causal or correlational to the answer above, I have learned (and continue to learn) to say how I feel and what I need, plainly. Without trying to anticipate criticism or any kind of reaction from the other person, and without letting that anticipation lead me in any particular direction. Slowly, I'm learning that simple really is best. Especially when it comes to people.

What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
I made a ham for the first time! And everybody liked it!

Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any for the last few years. In 2009, though, I resolve:
- To get into shape (there is a sustainable plan in place; it's not something I'm going to "try" to do -- I will do it!).
- To spend more of my time with my family and friends. I will be more present when I am home, and I'm going to ink into my calendar dates throughout the year with my friends.
- To go to bed earlier.
- To give up coffee. I don't like feeling addicted, and everything I've read about the various minor physical ailments I keep encountering says to avoid coffee. So there; tonight marks the second night of it and I think the worst of it is past.
- To stop allowing fear into my life.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Oh, yes! Ava and Drew had a gorgeous little thing named Audrey Caitlyn. We swoon.

Did anyone close to you die?
We weren't close, but my cousin died in a terrible way. So that something good may grow from a sad event, I've made it a point to be closer to my extended family.

What was the best thing you bought?
The Frye boots I'd wanted since age 15, purchased with the government stimulus check of last spring. Oh, and maybe the Calvin Klein trenchcoat I got for $18. At the Salvation Army. Still had the tags on it. OH YES.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Simple things, like hanging out with H. and the boy. Silly things, like going out with friends. And of course, seeing Nick Cave live for the first time, at the Hollywood Bowl. Eeeee!

What song/album will always remind you of 2008?
- Dig! Lazarus, Dig!!/Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds (both the album and the song)
- L.E.S. Artistes by Santogold
- Challengers (the song)/The New Pornographers

What was the best book(s) you read?
Night Train to Lisbon by Pascal Mercier (thanks, WEH!), Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino (thanks, Pete!) and The Object Lesson by Edward Gorey (thanks, Lisa!).

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Carla Bruni.

What were your favourite films of this year?
Gran Torino, The Dark Knight, Mamma Mia!.
(That about sums up my personality, too, I reckon.)

What did you want and get?
For Christmas, my mister got me something I'd only dreamt of -- in fact I only wanted it in that faraway manner that one "wants" a nice car or a bigger house: a Canon Rebel with an incredible zoom lens. When I unwrapped the package, I immediately set it down, looked away and said to H., OhmyGod. Are you sure? Can you look at it and tell me if it's still there? We had decided only to get each other stocking stuffers this year. When I asked him about that, he said his plan had been to give me the camera for my birthday, which is in July, but he'd come up a bit short. So he'd then decided to continue saving so that by Christmas he was able to get me the camera, the lens and a great bag for it.

I know. I know!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Back in the Saddle. Not that I dressed all Spaghetti Western, more that I found my voice again.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nick Cave. Always + Forever!

What political issue stirred you the most?
The presidential election got me all political.

Who did you miss?
The usual suspects. Come back to Los Angeles, people.

Who was the best new person you met?
Kathy!

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Keep It Simple, Stupid. And don't underestimate yourself.

Forced Perspective

2008-12-30T14:23:00.000-08:00

I am human. Nothing human is alien to me. --Terence

Responding to a comment left on his very thought-provoking post about resonance, Michael asks:

How does it happen for you? With art or with real people? Have you noticed how automatic it is to slide back to the comfort of your "self" when the going gets rough?

[I highly recommend you have a look at his post first; for context, but more so for your own edification.]

When art resonates with me, it’s as though the art has been there, in my being, all along; its creator simply slid a panel back to present it to me, or plucked it from me, secretly, before planting it in my path. There’s a Yes! that occurs, like finally recognizing the form of a loved one in the distance, across a crowded airport. Sometimes it is so exactly the contents of a particular idea or flight of fancy I may have harbored for years that it is almost painful to see it or hear it in the light of day. Always, there is an overwhelming gratitude toward the artist. Thank you for making me less alone… thank you for making me the same as you… thank you for reminding me that actually, we are all one.

When the resonance is with a person, it’s as though that person’s image hums and vibrates, maybe levitates, in my mind’s eye, brighter and slightly higher than the rest of people in my consciousness. Without the use of words, I think of them as The Ones Who Get It. They grow in numbers over the years, and I can go long periods of time without seeing or communicating with them; our relationships are not affected. They are real, and they know that I am real. I know that I can be myself with them, and they with me, and our ugliness doesn’t matter in the way we tend to believe it does. It doesn’t mark us anything other than human. We are beautiful and hideous. We try again, every day.

Forced resonance occurs quite differently. It’s nearly the exact opposite, in fact. It’s an exercise I do to keep myself humble [stop laughing, sometimes it works!]. I think of it as worming my way into their beings, setting the stage from the inside out, much the way we were taught to prepare our characters in theater classes. What does this person fear, love, worship? After all’s said and done, those three concepts form us, for better or for worse. We have the same basic needs, yes; it’s our props that make us distinct from one another. Considered from that angle, it is less difficult to imagine how the devil’s shoe-shine boy [with a nod to Michael] leaves behind, come next month, an 8-year legacy of idiocy and destruction. [Please note: I did not say “easy to imagine” but only “less difficult” to do so.]

And that’s where things get scary. Because if it is less difficult to imagine how someone stands at the helm of a country and allows it to be destroyed, then perhaps one is only a few thoughts away from completely understanding how something like that occurs. And if one can be something almost resembling sympathetic, even if only in one’s most private thoughts, to a person responsible for something terrible, then how can one confidently point the finger?

Let’s not be mistaken: there is right and there is wrong. That is what I believe. But we are all wrong, aren’t we? Aren’t we wrong, in some way, every day? And if we can be a little wrong, we can be a lot wrong. Horribly wrong. Under the right circumstances, it could happen. Couldn’t it? If you were slightly less able-minded. Slightly less diligent or disciplined. A little lazier. A little sadder. Couldn’t something slip by you? I know I’ve had plenty of close calls. So what right do I have to criticize? Well, it’s my country, it’s my planet; sure I have a right to criticize, to speak out. No one can take that right from me. But I believe there is a difference between speaking out against actions and policies, and speaking out in condemnation of another human being. [Feel free to point out that, this being the case, it's somewhat problematic for me to refer to someone as the devil's shoe-shine boy. I know, isn't it?]

That said, were someone to harm a loved one, you’d hear a different story from me. Absolutely, you would. My aim, though, my goal, is to remember that we are all one. My instructions, as a follower of Christ, are simple: 1. Love God; 2. Love my neighbor. Running through that little exercise of forced resonance keeps me honest. And it makes the spontaneous resonance all the sweeter.

How about you? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this matter.

Last-minute gift idea

2008-12-24T11:51:00.000-08:00

...in case you've not yet come up with one for me.
I'd really really love it if you could knit this in my size. Isn't it gorge?
No rush, it doesn't have to be done by tomorrow. Maybe by New Year's Eve, though?

We'll see the breakdown of the ancient Western code

2008-12-22T09:39:00.000-08:00

Even the mainstream media is hip to this stuff now. Which is as strangely satisfying as it is frightening.

You say tomAYto, I bite your head off

2008-12-21T20:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Fellow Americans,

Please stop referring to the city of Melbourne, Australia, as "Melbin."
Here's why: it's called "Melbourne," and you, rather fittingly, speak with an American accent. Thus, reason would dictate that your pronunciation would sound more or less like "MEL-burn." Because even if you are Southern and don't really believe in the letter R, it still would not sound like "Melbin," now, would it? Wouldn't it be something along the lines of "Mehhhl-buhhhhn"? Well, I can tell you what it shouldn't sound like. It shouldn't sound like "Melbin."

You people married to Aussies, you're not off the hook, either. Stop it. It makes you sound like you're putting on airs, like you're soooo in with the Aussies that you are practically one of them, don't you know, and also makes you seem very Sweetie Dahling, you know? Plus, the awesome bonus of no one knows what you are talking about because we the people don't really believe in learning geography, do we? Also, it makes it disconcertingly difficult for me not to put on the worst impersonation of the Crocodile Dundee guy for you and insist you throw another shrimp on the barbie, JUST TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE ON LIKE EIGHT DIFFERENT LEVELS. And it doesn't need to come to that, does it? That benefits no one.

Love,
Emma

Since You Asked

2008-12-18T14:42:00.000-08:00

I'm done for. My admiration for Cary Tennis is officially a full-blown, swoony, nerdy crush. There, I've said it. His advice is the best sort of balm for the problems that people bring to him. He acknowledges the person's humanity, embraces them in a "you're human; we are all human" sort of blanket, shushing them, and then carefully, respectfully, gives it to them straight. And there is very little so powerful as strong words from a gentleman. He excels in this arena. From today's column, in which a mother worries that her friend's son is displaying signs of autism:

This brings me to the subject of bullshit, the rampant bullshit that passes for knowledge, the arrant bullshit that passes for conversations on airplanes and in bars and restaurants. There is such a difference between knowledge and bullshit. Bullshit is just the stuff that comes out of our mouths. It's the stuff we believe we know. It's stuff like, "Well, the black bears are the dangerous ones." I'm down in Florida and I'm just hearing guys talk. I'm thinking, how the fuck do you know black bears are the dangerous ones? Are you a wildlife behavior specialist? That's what I mean about bullshit. We believe things about ourselves and about our children. That doesn't make them so.

Ever the fangirl, I sent Mr. Tennis a note a couple of weeks ago to tell him that I think he's fantastic. I even shared with him -- and if you aren't sitting, may I recommend that you do so? -- the fact that I think of him as the Neil Finn of advice. (I know! Nobody has ever earned that title before!) His response was as gracious and personable as one would imagine. (I suspect he doesn't hold Mr. Finn in the same swirly, hushed regard I do, but seemed to understand what the title meant.)

Some people make the world a better place in small ways, every day. I think it's nice to let them know when you notice it.

Prolix! Prolix!

2008-12-17T16:58:00.000-08:00

...nothing a pair of scissors can't fix. - Nick Cave

Too easy, I know. But I can't stop laughing, except for when my blood boils. Then I laugh again.

Things My The President Has Uttered*

"I didn't grow up in the ocean—as a matter of fact—near the ocean—I grew up in the desert. Therefore, it was a pleasant contrast to see the ocean. And I particularly like it when I'm fishing."—Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2008

"We've got a lot of relations with countries in our neighborhood."—Kranj, Slovenia, June 10, 2008

"Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people."—Charlottesville, Va., July 4, 2008

Our dear leader reminds me often of Kim Jong Il, with whom I have a (perhaps unhealthy -- more on that another day) fascination. Although Kim Jong Il appears to have some semblance of creativity and some crazy-ass fantastical notions of himself, whereas Dubya seems to really just want some blow and a beer and a strip joint to sit in and watch the, um, world go by.

Is it Inaguration Day yet?

*Many, many more at Slate.

Lunchtime Gratitude

2008-12-17T12:29:00.001-08:00

1. Good friends who take you as you are, hold your hand and help you be a better person.

2. My mom's beef and vegetable soup, the elixir to cure what ails you. Bonus: perfectly-cooked corn on the cob bits that explode on impact.

3. It's so cold outside, and I am so safe and warm inside.

4. The excellent hummus we get on a near-weekly basis, made locally in small batches and amazing flavors (like curry!).

5. My BFF comes home tomorrow, for three weeks!

6. Luke, last night, after we'd decorated our wee potted pine tree, throwing his arms in the air and squealing, Mama! It's CHRISTMAS in here!

7. Sitting at the table at 6 a.m. today, just H and me and our cups of coffee, talking and laughing until the tears streamed down my face.

Blessed beyond measure, and don't I know it.

What are you grateful for?

Paying it forward

2008-12-15T14:44:00.000-08:00

The lovely Diana included me in her I Love Your Blog post today. I am beyond flattered, as her blog is beautiful, inspiring and intelligent. To continue the effect, here are seven of the many blogs that I love:

* What Possessed Me - P. is by turns hilarious, wise, silly and thoughtful. Her blog is achingly poignant and completely down-to-earth. In short, I'd really like for her to move in next door to me (P., just so you know, the condo next door is currently available.).

* Pohangina Pete - I've mentioned Pete's blog before, but am as taken by it now as I was three years ago. In his own words, "Pete lives in the Pohangina Valley, Aotearoa/New Zealand and writes about mountains and mountaineering, rockclimbing, photography, Aotearoa-NZ, natural history, people, travelling, thinking, a wee bit of politics, life in general and a swag of other stuff. Lots of photos, too." But it's much more than that.

* This is kind of cheating, maybe? Because The Ruins of the Moment also belongs to Pohangina Pete. [Also: apparently I only read blogs run by people whose first names begin with the letter P.] He posts a new gorgeous/thought-provoking/inspiring photo every day.

* Simple Mom. Tsh writes thoughtful, helpful, reasonable hacks for running a more loving and (wait for it) simple home. She's made a huge impact on me.

* Some Girls Wander. Super-girly, dreamy, delicious clothing blog. By my favorite indie artist, Emily Martin.

* Superhero Journal. Andrea is a brave writer. She is so full of love, and continues to put herself out there. I admire her enormously.

* Going on Beyond. I am new to this one, but completely intrigued. Michael's photographs are fascinating and beautiful, and his voice is as insightful and gentle as it is no-nonsense.

Thank you, friends, for continuing to teach and inspire me.

Closing Cultural Chasms: The Story of Rupert Murdoch's Media

2008-12-14T21:56:00.001-08:00

From the always-brilliant CNN:

In Arab culture, throwing shoes at someone... is considered an insult.

Startlingly different from American culture, in which throwing shoes at someone is shorthand for "I would very much like to buy you a drink."

And a pinch to grow an inch

2008-12-13T09:22:00.000-08:00

I've just posted a new letter over at my other blog, Dear Luke: Letters to Read When You're Older.

Happy weekend, everybody! And if you're in Southern California and haven't yet heard, it is going to be C-O-L-D for the next few weeks... bundle up!

The envelope, please...

2008-12-12T14:42:00.000-08:00

Hugh Jackman will be hosting the Oscars. Good night, people, if you thought I was an obnoxious Oscar dork the last twenty years, boy are you in for a treat come 2009. I am imagining many costume changes... lots of different Wolverine outfits, interspersed with Australian Cowboy outfits. I will probably also imagine that he is speaking directly to me the entire evening. And offering me cake. And wine. And roses!

Secret Garden

2008-11-29T22:06:00.001-08:00

Snapped while sitting in my favorite reading spot in my mom's backyard.

Top Twenty-Five Guilty Pleasures (Part One of Two)

2008-11-29T11:32:00.001-08:00

(I considered doing a top five, but that wasn't enough; long story short, the numbers increased in multiples of five and I finally capped it at 25. Ahem. Thank you. Oh, also: these are only numbered for purposes of identification, and not in any way meant to indicate a hierarchy.)

1. 13 Going On 30. I ain't proud, but I ain't ashamed, neither.

2. Kraft Singles. American Pasteurized Processed Cheese Product. There's a tirade I pull from my repertoire when H. brings this home, for obviously its nutritional value is nil, possibly even less than that. Bravely--bravely--do I save my son from its destruction by eating it all myself.

3. The Whole Foods store-brand hot chocolate. I am crazy about it! No other hot chocolate compares. Seriously! It strikes the perfect balance between chocolatey, milky and sweet, it's better than the MarieBelle stuff and it comes in a brown paper envelope. I ask you, friend, what else can you purchase at $3.49 a box that produces such joy? Humbly, I submit: THERE IS NOTHING.

4. O The Oprah Magazine [you may recall that I recently outed myself on this point]

5. Hostess lemon pies. Disgusting? Delicious? Oh, why not both!

6. Garth Brooks' Friends In Low Places -- I can sing it for you, if you like. Which do you prefer, the studio version or the live one?

7. Clueless. Anytime you'd like for me to recite it, just ask!

8. The Spice Girls' Say You'll Be There. Trixie Firecracker! Ahahaha.

9. Billy Joel. Oh my, yes. In particular, Piano Man, Big Shot and Pressure.

10. Labyrinth. Back in the days of Lulu (my now-defunct online magazine for teen girls), I published an in-depth analysis of this movie as a primer for growing up female. STOP LAUGHING. I stand by this analysis even now, but as I'm in the middle of admitting a bunch of embarrassing things to the internet, you'll please forgive me for feeling a bit too vulnerable to go into that diatribe. Oh, just watch it. You won't be sorry.

Better than Black Friday shopping

2008-11-28T00:01:00.001-08:00

Oh, don't go out there, into the shopping fray. It's ugly. Instead, gaze upon this lovely photo I found of Matt Berninger, dreamy vocalist from The National.

You're welcome. Now go and listen to Brainy and Fake Empire. And have a go at Lucky You as well.

And have your fainting couch ready.

Special Holiday [Sap and Emotion] Edition

2008-11-27T11:03:00.001-08:00

Every year I have more for which to be grateful. This year, in particular, when so many of us are watching the floundering world and wondering what's going to happen next, I feel very rich indeed, in love and comfort. Below, some of the particulars.

* My little family: H., who makes me want to be a better person every single day, who stands at the top of the line of fine men in the world, who loves me tirelessly (or at least does a great job of pretending not to tire of it -- it's a difficult job, I'm the first to admit), and Luke, who manages to amaze me every single day with his tender heart and sparkling wit.

* My brother, the 30-year-old married father who still crank calls me. We weren't very close for years, and now we talk at least three times a day. My life would be far less lovely without his text messages full of absurd inside jokes from childhood.

* My parents, who shaped me and encouraged me to be myself, and somehow didn't put me in a gunny sack and drown me (some things do not become obvious reasons for gratitude until after one becomes a parent)-- who are more and more becoming my friends and co-conspirators in this life.

* The friends I have, far and near, past and present, in person and in the computer, on earth or elsewhere. Inspiring, comforting, clever, hilarious and gorgeous, these people help keep me on the up-and-up, the straight-and-narrow, and every other hackneyed stand-in for truth and strength that you can think of. I've learned something from each of you, and continue to do so.

* My extended family, filled with every type of individual available in the world. Thanks for continuing to welcome me and mine.

* The cute condo in a cute part of town in a cute part of the cutest state in the US (sorry, other states; you know this is only the truth): how did we get so lucky?!

* The jobs both H. and I have... more and more people no longer have jobs, and we know we've got it good.

* My health insurance! I hear horror stories about diabetics without health insurance. I need not be allowed to ever complain.

* My God, whose unparalleled mercy and kindness bring me to my knees every day.

Whether or not you are celebrating Thanksgiving, I wish for you a wonderful day. And if you are reading this, thank you. I pray that you may know how firsthand how much love there is in the world for you.

In case you wondered.

2008-11-25T22:11:00.001-08:00

The best thing EVER: sitting downstairs after two long days at work, expecting a third long day, with an extraordinarily persistent headache -- and hearing two male voices floating down, one not-quite-three and one a grown man, "SPIDERMAN! SPIDERMAN! DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER CAN!"

Everything is right with the world.

Although everyone knows they wouldn't really say "flip flops."

2008-11-24T21:19:00.000-08:00

Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!

(Bret talks so dreamy.)

(Makes me very uncomfortable.)
(VERY.)

(Brilliant.)

(PS, I'm not even embarrassed at having shamelessly lifted this entire blog post, save the bits in parens, from H's blog.)

Night Train to Lisbon, p.76

2008-11-23T23:59:00.001-08:00

"Was this what came from thoughts of time running out and death: that all of sudden you didn't know anymore what you wanted? That you didn't know your own will anymore? That you lost the obvious familiarity with your own wishes? And in this way became strange and a problem to yourself?"

A friend recommended this book to me some time ago, and I've just now gotten around to it. I'm reading it slowly, making myself put it down frequently to take in what I've read. I never want it to end.

The best parts

2008-11-23T00:28:00.001-08:00

I've added a new section to the sidebar there -- scroll down a ways and you'll see THE BEST PARTS, which is (perhaps not surprisingly) an ongoing compilation of the best parts of the books I read. Send me yours, will ya?

In Which I Eat My Words

2008-11-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

So you know how the other day I went on unkindly about how much making stuff out of plastic bags sucks? I totally take it back. Ez over at Creature Comforts posted this how-to for making a super-fun, super-cute, pom-pom gift topper [whew, barely resisted urge to add a hyphen there] out of said bags. I stand corrected! I want to make a million of these!!

Cheapie Xmas Wrapping!

2008-11-19T22:00:00.000-08:00

Apartment Therapy LA has a great piece about alternatives to wrapping paper -- there are a couple of fun, easy options I hadn't considered. Check it out!

Top Seven Niche Business Ideas

2008-11-17T07:24:00.000-08:00

Some people may think it foolish to consider a niche business idea in this economy; however I am confident that once I present these concepts--some provide a service; some are stores--to the right investors, backing will come with no delay. Read on, you Doubting Thomases!

1. Cookies For Adorable Children, Smartly-Turned-Out Ladies and Gallant Gentlemen
2. Wonderful Hats For Your Every Whimsy! [The exclamation point is part of the name.]
3. Your First Name Followed By His Last Name On Nice Stock In A Chic Font
4. Flowers and Cakes, Hand-Delivered by Your Choice of Wolverine, Edward Cullen, and/or Captain Jack Sparrow
5. Jarvis Cocker Says Your Name Five Times, Slowly: Your Personal Ringtone
6. Feathers, Tea Sets, Leather Jackets and Cupcakes for a Certain Type of Lady
7. Things You'd Buy Me If You Really Liked Me

Simply Smashing!

2008-11-17T00:11:00.000-08:00

As confessed elsewhere on this blog, I have a real ~~crush on~~ ~~affinity for~~ love of miniatures -- always have. They thrill me beyond all rational explanation. So you can imagine the scene at Casa de Old Soul when I happened upon Smashing Magazine's 50 Beautiful Examples of Tilt-Shift Photography. I assumed it was magical photographs of magical tiny little things. But lo: Tilt-shift photography is a creative and unique type of photography in which the camera is manipulated so that a life-sized location or subject looks like a miniature-scale model. Infinitely more magical! I feel a new obsession coming on. Or perhaps just a new camera lens.

I've changed my mind, bub.

2008-11-15T23:15:00.000-08:00

[Please note: super-squealy, girly post to follow. It may make you queasy and/or annoyed! You have been warned.]

I have often said that it's not so much Hugh Jackman I find terrifically irresistable as it is Wolverine. AS OF TODAY, THAT CEASES BEING TRUE. Why, you are in all likelihood asking yourself? A couple of reasons.

Reason one.
Reason two.

Of course as we all know there is no such thing as a free lunch.
The first two shots in that set are, um, here and here.

My beloved made sure to email them to me, letting me know not to worry, because although he had been snipered, Wolverine does have regenerative powers. Do you see what I deal with here?

Anyway, wow. And WOW. And: yay!

Thank you, and good night, Internet. Happy weekend.

If you need to get the funk out.

2008-11-14T16:08:00.000-08:00

Declare amnesty for the part of you that you don't love very well. Forgive that poor sucker. Hold its hand and take it out to dinner and a movie. Tactfully offer it a chance to make amends for the dumb things it has done. And then do a dramatic reading of this proclamation by the playwright Theodore Rubin: "I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."

Taken from Frida sometime last year. Thanks, Frida.

I'm rich. I'm sexy.

2008-11-14T10:39:00.000-08:00

Aside from the obvious things I love about this (their initials are H.L. and S.F.), I also love how very pertinent it all remains.

In which we all have a laugh

2008-11-14T09:25:00.000-08:00

This photo makes me giddily happy. Sure, Gervais is no baby coyote, but just look at him! Delightful.

The Humble DIY Christmas Gift Guide of 2008

2008-11-13T12:51:00.001-08:00

Let's be honest: not all handiwork is created equal. Unless it is from your child, you will not gasp at and cherish for always any little thing that someone has made from their own two hands. Does that sound dreadful? I'd like to call to the witness stand some of the hideola items I've seen at craft shows, in helpful books and around the web. (If you are not sitting at this very moment, may I suggest that you find a seat?)

* The ashtray made from the bottom of an aluminum can. (H once brought home two of these, because he "felt bad" for the elderly woman who was selling them. I did too, but felt also that he could have just tossed them in the trash before getting home. They lived on our balcony for two years.)

* The anything made from plastic shopping bags. Just don't. They're great for lining small wastebaskets, toting your lunch to work, putting in the diaper bag just in case of a messy diaper, etc. -- but decorative and/or festive they ain't.

* The clove-studded-orange pomander. I have to say that I think these look really fantastically old-timey, and will probably make a few for my house. But I am kind of odd, and also fairly sure that your friends will not want to receive one of these as a gift. Mainly because none of them were alive two centuries ago when they were useful as well as popular.

* Cozies of any kind: teapot, soda can, you name it. Come on, that just sucks!

So, because I've had such a hard time finding good DIY Christmas present ideas, I thought I'd put together a few of the best offerings I've seen. Just for you! Now, mind you, I have some strict parameters for gift-giving. They are based on the following observations about my own life:

1. I own many, many more things than I ought.
2. There is very little that I need.
3. My home is too small to hold the things we moved in here with, which explains why we have carted out so much stuff in the last nearly-six years.

Thus, I think that gifts make sense if they are a) something the recipient is sorely lacking (like, how about a back yard for me this year?) and/or will use/need anyway (like a cute, small calendar) ; b) something which will be consumed (cookies are never turned down); or c) something the recipient will be able to use in the near future for a basic need or treat (like a gift card). Of the three options, I go with c) the gift card only when I know the recipient will find it most useful -- i.e., new parents who have tons of tiny clothing but will most assuredly run out of diapers on the same day they are overdrawn. You know? Otherwise, I stick with a) and b). It takes some thought, some planning and a little time -- which the recipient will know and love, of course. And the end result is something delicious.

Two other caveats: One, these gifts can't be too fiddly. Candy thermometers scare the daylights out of me, so that's out. Also, I don't want to have to wait for yeast to rise and all of that. Two, it's silly to go handmade if your costs don't also go way down. And when I say "costs" I am including "time."

That said, here is what I'm giving people this year.

The Aforementioned Cute Desk Calendar
This one.
Or this one.
Download, print to nice stock, slip into a CD case. Functional, cool and something your mitts actually touched.

Blood Orange Vodka*
2 blood oranges
1 (750-milliliter) bottle vodka [the directions specify "premium" but come on, times are tough.]

Wash and dry oranges. Cut into 1/4-inch-thick rounds and layer in a tall, wide-mouth jar.

Pour vodka over top (reserve bottle); seal lid. Allow to infuse in a cool, dark place for 3 to 4 days.

Meanwhile, soak bottle ro remove labels; clean bottle andhave it ready to fill. Strain infused vodka through a cheesecloth-lined sieve; discard solids. Use a funnel to pour liquid back into bottle. Store in refrigerator or freezer until ready to give. Tie a bow and attach a gift card, or create your own label.

I'm thinking that these labels would be pretty great.

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chip Rice Krispies Balls*
Makes 16 balls

2 (1.4-ounce) chocolate-covered toffee candy bars
2 cups Rice Krispies
1/2 cup chunky peanut butter
16 regular-size marshmallows
1/4 cup mini semisweet chocolate chips
Canola oil
Leaving candy bars in wrappers, use a rolling pin to pound and crush bars into small pieces. Place Rice Krispies in a large bowl and set aside.

Place peanut butter in a medium-size microwave-safe bowl; microwave on high until hot, about 45 seconds. Add marshmallows and microwave on high until softened, about 30 seconds. (Alternatively, place peanut butter and marshmallows in a heavy saucepan. Stir over low heat until melted, 2 to 3 minutes.)

Working quickly, stir to combine mixture with Rice Krispies. Stir until evenly coated. Add crushed candy bars and chocolate chips. Stir until combined. Coat your hands with oil and shape mixture into spheres the size of golf balls, making 16 treats. Pack in decorative tins or arrange on waxed-paper-lined wrappers and tie ends with ribbon. The balls will keep up to one week at room temperature.

I'm also going to be wrapping as much as possible in recycled materials. I've become one of those people who hangs on to random scraps for later re-use, so that shouldn't be too much of an issue. Everything from corrugated cardboard to oversized envelopes, from tissue paper with fun prints on it to big squares of soft leather that would otherwise be thrown out at work -- it's all going to get put to (sometimes very abstract) use. Should I run out, this idea of wrapping gifts in inexpensive-but-cool vintage scarves is fantastic.

One last thing to keep in mind: when making everything, it's best to stick to just a couple of things. That way you can keep your assembly lines organized and moving quickly. Then you can wrap things up (hee hee) knowing you've not contributed to the machine of Christmas craziness.

*From O, The Oprah Magazine. O, hush. I don't care what my (non-white) best friend says about white women being under Oprah's spell. I'm not under her spell, I don't even particularly like her. But that magazine of hers is pretty great.

Smugopedia: Your source for infauxmation!

2008-11-13T10:38:00.000-08:00

Finally. At last. O happy day! I've stumbled across a gem of a fledgling website: Smugopedia. Filled with exactly the kind of pompous, annoying thing I enjoy (when done correctly, of course; done poorly, it is simply insufferable and it brings shame upon the entire genre.). I look forward to reading and perhaps submitting more content.

Brilliant!

P.S., The logo is fantastic as well. I swoon!

Who you are vs. who you think you should be

2008-11-13T09:49:00.001-08:00

My blog reader has gone all wonky again, which is great, because it showed me this post that Gretchen published back in September. I meant to address it then and life got in the way, so now I get that chance (mostly because I am home sick. Again.). In Gretchen's words, Here's a quiz, lightly adapted from The Creative Lawyer, to help you figure out your interests. Not what you WISH interested you, but what ACTUALLY interests you. I find myself sometimes thinking that I should enjoy certain things more, rather than just focusing on the things I do enjoy. This strikes me as completely absurd, and I would like to change it. So, then, this quiz.

1. What part of the newspaper do you read first? The L.A. Times used to call it the Living section; I suppose the human-interest section is what I always flip to first.

2. What are three books you've read in the past year? Invisible Cities, Twilight and The Host.

3. As a child, what did you do in your free time? Read; make collages, greeting cards, doll clothes, doll houses, other crafty things; listen to music and memorize my favorite songs, scouring liner notes for information on the artists. (Hmm. Essentially all the same fun/obsessive things I do now.)

4. What's a goal that has been on your list for a few years? Move to New Zealand.

5. What do you actually do with your free time? Daydream; doodle; visit websites for visual/creative inspiration; read; knit; sleep.

6. What types of activities energize you? Talking to people; being out in nature; traveling; reading magazines -- I guess any activity in which I can take in a lot of interesting information.

7. What famous people intrigue you? Nick Cave, Neil Finn, Ernest Shackleton, Judi Dench. I suppose the common threads are fearlessness and longevity -- both of which owe a debt to being able to look failure in the face and get on with it.

Looking over the answers, there's a lot for me to think about.
What about you? What actually interests you, and how is it different from what you think should interest you?

Mirror world

2008-11-10T08:46:00.002-08:00

It becomes easy, after a time, to imagine that you are neither complicated nor messy; that your own little unit of human currency is clean, crisp and unfussy. You know your own system; your language is reasonable; your habits pristine. But numbers easily prove you wrong; add more people to the mix and you quickly realize that, out of context, your lines blur. You become aware of how often your demands, the silent ones, veer off into childishness. Your inflexibility, intolerance and snobbery dance around you gleefully, unbridled.

Pushing past your ugliness, you force yourself to forge a new path. For what other choice exists? You have so far to go.

Bursts of Gratitude, Pt. 2

2008-11-06T09:03:00.000-08:00

Because it's truly the little things that make me ecstatic.
This morning, it's:

* Coffee, hot
* Sleep, adequate
* It's Thursday but for me it's Friday
* Getting busywork out of the way for a friend/co-worker, since work is slow for me right now -- feeling like a Really Useful ~~Engine~~ Girl
* Getting my hair done tonight
* Wearing a pair of pants that once were too loose, then were too tight for a long time, and now are nearly loose again
* A Democrat in the White House again